2016: The Year I Chose to Make Margarita Instead

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, OR lemon cheesecake, OR lemon curd, OR lemon chicken, OR margarita!

"I've heard that you're no longer working at XXX, so where are you attached to these days?"

Since the beginning of this year, friends, relatives, students, and acquaintances have asked me the same question many times. My reply would always be :

"Oh ... here, there, and everywhere. I'm actually teaching part-time."

At the very mention of the tabooed word - part-time, their faces would immediately dissolve into a pitiful and sympathetic expression, much similar to the expression that a full grown adult usually receives after the earth-shattering discovery, "Oh (gasp), you mean you're not married? But why?"

They will then proceed to console the unfortunate soul by saying, "It's OK. Give the economy some time. I'm sure you'll find a full-time job soon." Or, in that second instance, they would say, "It's OK. I'm sure you'll find the right person soon."

On one hand, I am sincerely moved by their concern. Seriously, I am far from feeling offended at all.

On the other hand, I have been trying very hard to explain to almost everyone that even though holding a full-time job and having a life partner may be the society's norm, some of us have actually grown quite comfortable not doing either, or both.

Let's begin with the second issue: Back when I was in school, many friends had assumed that I would eventually make a good wife. Erm, to be more accurate, a good housewife. Why? No, I was never a sex-bomb nor someone with a drop, dead, gorgeous figure to attract half of the male population. I never even had that cute, sweet, and innocent face most of my classmates were born with.

A female Inspector Gadget

Where, when, how, and why then did this notion exist? Perhaps that honourable nomination for 'a good housewife' stemmed from the way I held the broom while sweeping the class, or perhaps it was the way I held the toilet brush while scrubbing at the bowl with all my life. My family never had a cleaner or a maid, so we were trained since young to do housework. As a result, the broom and the brush always looked like natural extensions of my hand. Thus, some friends thought that I would perhaps some day make a rather convenient housewife ... something like a female version of Inspector Gadget.

When I hit puberty and started to develop even more shock absorbents on my derriere, friends used to tease that I would be very fertile, and thus, make a good mother.

Yup, you could see that our sense of logic (along with our understanding of biology) was very much screwed back then ...

Kim Kardashian vs. Angelina Jolie

Decades have passed since and I have yet to prove any of the above hypothesis right. No one knows if I would make a good housewife. And no one knows if indeed people with big bums are more fertile than their skinny counterparts. The last I checked, Angelina Jolie still has more children than Kim Kardashian. Or that I would not be a terrible parent who ends up having to bail my kids out of the lockup once they hit their rebellious teenage years.

You see, most people at my age would usually be married, with kids, and working full-time. I, on the other hand, have none of the above.

While the rest of the world may regard an unmarried and childless female as pitiful, I beg to differ.

In fact, it is this year that I finally decided to take full advantage of what people may have deemed as my 'disadvantages.'

If you had known me well enough, you will agree that I am a workaholic. Despite all the grumbling about marathon marking and pathetic pay, I actually LOVE teaching. And I guess I'll be teaching (or nagging, whichever term fits your definition) till the day I breathe my last. I have images of myself being hooked onto the life-support machine and still struggling to use my sepet eyes to 'enlighten and educate' every visitor who sits next to my deathbed.

This penchant for teaching does not only extend to my students. Unfortunately, it has spread to every area of my life. I feel like I need to 'teach' my friends, my colleagues, my relatives, and more drastically ... my immediate superiors. Perhaps it is also due to age but I had long passed the stage when I was 100% submissive and could tolerate being pushed around at work (or anywhere, for that matter).

Towards the final quarter of last year, I felt I had to resign to save whatever was left of my sanity. I did not like the idea of people bringing out the worst in me all the time. I realised that I was becoming more of a bitter and resentful monster day-by-day, and I should like to think that this monster is NOT my true self.

I had not really dared to discuss this with many fellow colleagues because I knew that they would lovingly tell me to think twice, and I would eventually lose all guts to reprint the resignation letter ("Reprint"? Ah ... but that's the story for another day).

I tendered, and to cut the story short, I was officially JOBLESS by 29 December 2015. Friends and relatives were very worried about me. it was not a common practice to resign before securing a new job. To make matters worse, they had heard that the economy was bad:

Established educational institutions were freezing their staff intake. Some were downsizing their full-time lecturers. Why wasn't I worried? Why didn't I apply to more places? Why wasn't I attending as many job interviews as I should? What would I do for a living, then?

God has a peculiar way of dealing with people. With me, He has always allowed me to be swamped with so much work that I do not have the chance or time to worry about many trivial things in life. Not until things are pretty much settled and there is no more need to worry about it, anyway. Believe it or not, I was still finishing my final round of marking two days AFTER my last day at work. It was only then that I realised that I would be free as a bird, and ... WITHOUT A JOB!"

Ironically, I tried to share some of the concerns my friends had for myself, yet I couldn't.

And they got even more flustered when I constantly replied, "Oh, no worries. I'll just tidur bawah jambatan (sleep under the bridges). After all, I have been paying income tax and road tax for the past few years!"

Don't you agree that this charcoal painting by Rudolf Boogerman looks very realistic?

In truth, I was just too relieved to be free. I wanted some kind of rest. And somehow, it was difficult for me to explain to everyone why I deserved that rest.

As the new year began and everyone started with their usual rounds of resolutions, I finally put my finger on the reason why I was not as worried as my friends thought I should have been: My condition was very different from theirs.

Let me put it clearly:

a) I am not married, so I do not need my husband's approval before I make decisions.
b) I am childless, so I do not need to worry about my children's expenses.
c) I do not own a house, so I do not need to pay for installments.
d) I do not even drive a new car, so I do not need to pay for my 9-year old Myvi.

So you see, while the fact that I am husbandless, childless, houseless, and new-carless (if I may coin that term) seems to be a DISADVANTAGE to most people, to me and at this time, these are my ADVANTAGES.

2016: The Year I Took Advantage of My Disadvantages 

I can take that rest, because I do not have these burdens to bear. Not at this time, at least.

And the beauty of it all? I have been exposed to a whole new world of FREELANCING, which can be darn addictive, mind you! As a result, I now have more confidence, more freedom, sometimes more money, and most of all more quality time and energy to spend with my family members and loved ones.

I know that I will look back at this year in time to come and truly appreciate the meal-times I spent with my parents, the chats I had while catching up with friends, and the out-of-classroom lectures I shove into everyone who comes to me for consultation.

I may still die a pauper in a few years' time, but hey, I am not going to worry about that now. In fact, I just want to take time to sit back and thank God for all that He has blessed me with.

People say, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade". This is partly true. But if you feel that lemon meringue pie, lemon chicken, lemon cheesecake, lemon curd, or even margarita fits you better, go for it.

After all, lemonade is NOT the ONLY option in life.