It did not help when the person at the counter later presented me with a long itemised list of parts of my car (which I did not even know existed) that needed to be replaced and its respective charges. I could certainly do a lot with that additional RM3,000!
While there are some people who do not think twice before giving alms to strangers on the streets or at the night markets, I am embarrassed to admit that I am not one of them. Whenever it comes to beggars or strangers, I am quite skeptical. No, make that VERY skeptical. Unfortunately, I would normally regret not giving them anything after I have walked away ...
I recall one of the mornings when Euro 2016 fever was at its peak. There was a very interesting match in the wee hours of the morning; as a result, I had been deprived of sleep. Well, more than usual, that is. As I was walking down the walkway that connects Pavilion KL to Jalan Sultan Ismail, I caught a glimpse of a young child about 5-8 years old walking up and down the stairs. It was not an entirely unusual sight, except for the fact that the child was absolutely NAKED.
When I took a second glance, I saw that the said kid was a little girl. We have seen many lil boys parading naked (okay, maybe not so often these days) but it was not that common for a girl that age to walk around naked, and in the middle of the city. Yet, my mind was so muddled that it never occurred to me that something must have been wrong.
That is, not until I reached the bottom of the stairs and overheard the lady at the nearby nasi lemak stall saying to one of her customers, "Yalah, kesian dia." (Yes, that poor thing.)
I continued my journey to the college and by the time I reached there, I felt lower than a snake's belly. I should have done something. I should have asked her if she was alright. I should have asked where her parents were. I should have made a call to the police. At least that would have been worth something. Anything at all.
The more I thought about it, the worse I felt. I asked if any other student had witnessed that incident on their way to college but some of them shrugged it off as a joke. They said I must have been really 'lucky' to encounter such things to begin my week. They only sobered when I told them that she could have been a victim of human trafficking or even rape.
It is so sad for our society to reach this stage where we have become immune and afraid of helping strangers. We have read, heard, watched, and witnessed so many incidents where the Good Samaritan gets punished or framed for helping others.
A woman who stops to help a weeping child may end up being accused of kidnapping or even worse, led to houses where she gets robbed and/or raped. A man who stops to help a woman to fix her flat tyre in the middle of the road may also suffer the same fate. Let's face it: We are all exposed to scams 24/7.
I once asked online friends if they had ever refrained from helping a stranger at the last minute simply because they thought that person may not be genuine. It turns out that I am not alone and that many of us do get caught in that dilemma, after all.
Nonetheless, it was comforting to know that there are still people out there who believe in helping others, regardless of the consequences. Some have even purchased meals and sat down to talk to these strangers. I do observe that it is much easier for guys than for girls, though. Maybe it is their instinct to be protective, but most guys would be ever ready to help. Whether Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, free-thinkers, or atheists, they feel that they have been blessed so much, so it is their duty to help others who are in need. When I asked one of them if he expects his sister to help strangers, he said that he would definitely stop her because it is more dangerous for a female to do the same.
Case in point, a female friend said she once gave a lift to a foreigner who had his bag snatched at 6 AM in the morning. There were no other cars around and she felt compelled to send him to the hotel. Of course, she had an earful from her boss and her mother after that. It was true. That victim could have been part of a syndicate to lure young women to an unknown location and either rob and/or rape her. Sad, uh?
I agree with that friend, even if I may not have the courage to do the same. If I were in a foreign country and had lost my bag, I would be forever indebted to the stranger who offers to at least send me to the hotel. I would not want to be stranded in the middle of nowhere with no money to spare, and no valid travel documents.
We have all heard, "Do unto others, what you would want others to do unto you." Yet, I learned that it is not our right to demand for a helping hand from strangers just because we need it.
Coincidentally, on the same day that I saw the naked girl in the city, I walked back to the carpark only find that two of my tyres were rather deflated. Some people will conclude that it was karma for not helping that small girl, but I digress. As I struggled with the tyres, a smartly-dressed guy who parked next to my car just watched and drove away without even a word. Yup, perhaps I was not cute enough and did not really pass off as a damsel in distress but I prefer to think that I had the looks of a female mechanic who seemed to be fully in control of the situation. =) Either way, he did not offer to help and I did not feel comfortable imposing.
I guess we would never know whether we should or should not render help when strangers approach us. Part of us would think, "I would definitely want others to help me if I were caught in the same situation", while the other part would go, "Don't be an idiot. That person is probably gonna scam you."
I was engrossed in a discussion with a friend at a coffee shop in a busy hypermarket in KL when an unknown lady took long strides to our table and approached me for money. She quickly explained that she needed money because she had been diagnosed with cancer. What happened next was even more bizarre: with the speed of lightning she then lifted her blouse, presumably to show me her breasts. I was caught off-guard and did not know how to respond. I do know of people who are genuinely in need of money for treatment and are willing to do almost anything to get it. I have seen a man who sells home-baked muffins outside Maybank in PJ Old Town just to support his daughter's medical expenses. I have also come across a girl who walks from store to store selling her home-baked muffins to support her studies. At the same time, it is not every day that women lift their shirts to show me their bare breasts in a crowded place...
I just shook my head and said no. How did I feel after that, you ask? Of course I felt guilty because there I was enjoying an RM14 plate of nasi lemak, yet I did not give her a single dollar. Till this day, I do not know what to make of that encounter. Someone said I should have bought her a meal, but she was asking for money. And just like that Euro 2016 sleep-deprived mind, the bare-breasts mind was not functioning at its best, either.
To be, or not to be, that is the question.
- Hamlet / William Shakespeare
We love to quote these words from Shakespeare's Hamlet. While Hamlet contemplates between living and dying, our "question" is often, "To give or not to give?"
Is there an absolute answer to this? Unfortunately, no. We can only review on a case-to-case basis. But if it helps you to sleep better at night, then act accordingly. And most importantly, do not expect anything in return.