Confessions of a Chronic Hoarder

If I were to die today I may go to heaven, but those who are still living will have one hell of a time going through my possessions. 

I confess, I am a hoarder. Aren't we all?

With the recent Chinese New Year spring cleaning and the sudden explosion of Marie Kondo's popularity on the Internet, everyone seems to be obsessed with discarding items that no longer "spark joy" (to quote the KonMari expert).

As I looked around my room, I have to admit that I do hoard quite a lot of unnecessary items. 

a) The JIC (Just-in-case) Wares

I am guilty of hoarding many JIC (just-in-case) wares. For instance, I tend to collect small refillable bottles/containers just in case I ever decide to travel and need to transfer some shampoo, conditioner, body wash, lotion, etc. into smaller containers. It will be both uneconomical and un-environmental friendly to purchase new matching bottles solely for that purpose, won't it?

And then, of course, there are those half-scribbled journals and old diaries with some remaining pages on which I could probably use to record very important events/reminders ... some day in the future. What about notes from my uni days? Of course I still have them! Who knows if I may end up teaching these subjects and will need such info again? Did you say books? Classic, fiction, non-fiction, reference. You name it, I would most likely have it in my collection. After all, I may just get to fulfil my childhood dream of opening a neighbourhood library some day. If all else fails, we can always set all these papers ablaze in a makeshift fireplace to keep us warm when it freezes over in Malaysia.  

What about old and faded office wear? To be honest, they are not exactly comfortable enough for home despite the downgrade. But if there is any likelihood of a war in the near future, I may not have the time and money to shop for new clothes. These apparels would certainly come in very handy then.

I know I am not alone in this. I have heard of other people who keep old spectacles, tattered rags, broken furniture, and many other unusual just-in-case wares. In fact, I was just chatting with a group of friends the other day and one of them said that her father collects the stuff that she has specifically selected to be discarded and stashes them in his own home instead (in case there is any use for it). Her husband also shared about his father who has the habit of keeping many spare items in his house. Although concerned family members may occasionally nag him about it, they will usually shut up whenever he is able to pull out the exact replacement item that they need, thus helping them to save cost.

No matter how you look at it, hoarders of JIC items will always have a "valid" reason for keeping their wares. Hmm... what about the items that tug at your emotions? Do you throw them away?

b) Trash or Treasure?

Being a sucker for anything nostalgic, I struggle to part with things that have special meaning or were given by special people. (Of course by special people, I actually mean 75 percent of the human population!) I still have soft toys which were given to my brother when he was a one year-old baby, which means the toys have been on earth longer than I personally have. How does one give those away, especially when soft toys used to be expensive and something which our parents could hardly afford?

And because I clearly remember the giver(s) of each soft toy in my collection, I cannot bring myself to part with them. After watching Toy Story, I am convinced that my decision to keep them is still the best. There is just one slight flaw, though --- more toys kept coming into my possession. Would you like to read about the birth of a nation, in particular, the birth of the toy nation on my office desk?

I had somehow managed to collect two Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figurines from McDonalds many years ago. A colleague saw that Raphael and Leonardo were missing from the lot, so she decided to get them for me as my birthday gift. Yet another group of colleagues spied these 'heroes in a hard shell' of mine and decided to get me another Lego-like set of Ninja Turtles, complete with flashlights at the sole of their webbed feet. My students eventually identified my desk as "the one with the Ninja Turtles". Yeah kids, that is where you should submit your assignments.

A few cars from my collection

The same thing happened with toy cars. I have always loved toy cars but was too stingy to purchase them on my own. After much deliberation, I finally convinced myself to get a shiny black die-cast BMW from Mr. DIY and placed it on my desk so that I can imagine myself taking a spin in it whenever work gets too dreary. A colleague's young son also loved that car very much and often played with it whenever he dropped by. Guess what his mother did when she happened to pick my name for Christmas gift exchange one year? She bought me another toy car! On the following birthday, the colleague who sat next to me bought a white 4WD to accompany the black BMW. My desk had become a regular carpark by then. Just before I left the company, a few colleagues pooled in some money and got me an entire fleet of cars! I now have enough capital to open an auto garage!

Some people call them collectibles. Others regard them as garbage. Some people deliberately purchase fancy glass cabinets to display their collection. I know of another who is dedicated enough to actually blog about the plane models that he puts together. No matter how you look at it, this saying is true: One man's trash is another man's treasure. 

Some of these collectibles are investment-worthy and may fetch a high price when it is sold in future. Case in point, I have a cousin who now makes profit from the rare, special edition toys he used to own as a kid. Of course these have been kept in mint condition. But there is another form of collectibles that money can never buy --- encouraging words from friends and loved ones. It is not surprising then that a friend keeps greeting cards, mementos, emails, and letters she has received from others. I was also surprised to find a small yet overflowing box of letters that I had exchanged with friends, cousins, and pen-pals since I was eleven. Reading them again made me smile at the innocence I once had, although some, of course, left me cringing in embarrassment!

Move aside, Marie Kondo! It is just impossible to kill the nostalgy in some of us.

c) The Excessive Essentials

Have you ever bought a bottle of detergent (because it was on offer), only to realise that there are already three bottles waiting for you at home? That, my friends, is yet another form of hoarding, albeit unintentionally. Or perhaps you clearly recall purchasing an item but cannot seem to locate it just when you really needed it? What do you do then? Do you spend a whole lifetime searching for it, or do you just grab a new one from the supermarket/hardware store/mall?

I am not a neat freak, but there are a few specific cleaning agents that I especially like to use, so whenever I see them at an affordable price, I would be tempted to get a few. One day, I opened the old kitchen cabinet (which our family had decided to not throw but hoard) in the storeroom and was greeted by this sight:

Enough stock for me to open a franchise

I had not realized that I could already open my own Cosway franchise at home! To be honest, it was just a nasty reminder that I have been spending too much time and money purchasing cleaning agents and not enough time doing the actual cleaning.

There was also another time when by some strange magic we ended up with 3 can openers in the house. These items are essential, but probably not worth duplicating (at least, not that often). It may be slightly different if it were food, though. Or would it? A friend of mine hoards dry food, tea, and coffee. I guess if an emergency is suddenly declared, she will certainly not go hungry. I used to keep a "darurat" (emergency) stash in the office, too. Cup noodles, Campbell soup, canned corn, sardines, tuna etc, I had them all. The plus point is that these foods have expiry dates printed on the packaging, so anything that is past the dates can then be forcefully migrated into the dustbin.

At this point, there is no arguing that hoarding is an extremely bad habit. But one of my cousins suggested an interesting, worthy item to hoard -- money. Now, that is not too bad a motivation! I was just thinking that perhaps that is the only item I have not hoarded so far. Then a guilty feeling immediately took over as I recall stacks of crispy ang pau dollar notes I had quietly stashed (and still have) in my drawer, and had refused to exchange with my mom when she was desperate for new notes to put into the little red packets. There is just something nice and addictive when it comes to the crisp and smell of fresh new notes.

When I look at the things I have hoarded, I think I am quite chronic in the eyes of Marie Kondo. But I guess it's normal. Or is it not? Maybe I should stop blogging here and start decluttering, eh?

Have a good weekend!