Thursday, 9 April 2020

B.L.U.R (Episode 1 - Transportation)


"The eyes are useless when the mind is blind." 
                                                                                                                                

I am not sure how many of us have started losing our mind after 3 weeks of MCO (Movement Control Order) here in Malaysia.


During this period, most if not all of our routines have to be rescheduled and/or are compromised. It is not surprising, then, to catch ourselves spacing out occasionally.

Nonetheless, MCO or not, we have all had our episodes of being BLUR, or being absent-minded at some point in our lives.

I revisited one of my 2014 blog posts about wardrobe malfunction and I thought, hey, why not record an entry on transportation blunders this time round? Maybe, just maybe, the next few minutes of MCO might then become slightly more bearable after you have laughed at all these embarrassing, but true stories. 

Have you ever mistaken someone else's car as your own? After all, it could have been the same model, the same colour, and even almost the same car plate.

Apparently, that was what my father had done at the carpark of Alamanda Shopping Centre in Putrajaya, many years ago. To cut him some slack, Dad has been diagnosed with glaucoma for more than 2 decades now and his eyesight has been failing. But one thing that faileth not is his level of confidence, or ignorance (which can sometimes drive us really, really mad, if you know what I mean...).

My mother and my brother were already in the car, waiting for Dad when they caught him striding confidently towards what he assumed was my brother's car back then: a black Proton Wira. It was parked just next to my brother's car. As both of them observed Dad through the windows, they too had confidently assumed that he would surely not be able to open the car door or get into that car anyway and would therefore know that it was the wrong car, even though the two cars may have looked very similar. Alas, how their jaw dropped when he was not only able to open the car door, but to actually get in and comfortably take his seat!

Tell me, what were the odds that a random driver, who drove the same car as my brother, would have coincidentally left his car unlocked in that parking lot, only to let my Dad 'break in', albeit unintentionally?!! He sat in the car for a while before realising that my brother and my mom were laughing hysterically from the car next door.

Not too long ago, I dropped my parents off at the hospital for their routine check-up. Instead of parking at the hospital and waiting with them, I would usually take a walk in the park or hang around nearby to wait for their phone call. Not long after calling me, my mom (the other half with the supposedly better eyesight) saw a silver Perodua Myvi approaching and thought I had arrived. As she tried to open the car door, two other young girls rushed towards the Myvi and explained to my mom that it was their Grab ride, and not hers.

I am sure my parents are not exclusive in this.

I recall a teacher back in secondary school who confessed that she once entered into the wrong car while waiting for her husband to pick her up from work. She thought the car looked familiar, so when it pulled up, she automatically opened the door and got in. When the driver refused to drive away, she turned to look at him and asked, "What are you waiting for?" Imagine her embarrassment and horror when she eventually realized that the driver wasn't her husband at all!


Looks like there are already three embarrassing stories, and I have only touched on the topic of getting into the wrong car. What about other modes of transportation, you ask? Let's see how the humble public bus can teach us a lesson or two on humility.

Because we lived far in the suburbs but studied right in the heart of town, it was never easy for my brother and I to catch the public transport after school, unless we took the KL-Kajang bus or even the KL-Seremban bus and walked from the main highway to the housing estate. On the way home from school one day, my brother overslept and found himself in Kajang. I was on the verge of calling my parents to let them know that perhaps something bad had happened to him since he was taking much longer than usual, when the house phone rang and I heard his voice over the public phone, sheepishly explaining the blunder. Well, at least that was still much better than waking up in Seremban town!

This is City Liner no. 843, the most difficult bus to catch. I am surprised I managed to steal this image from the Internet.

A classmate, J, was telling our group how she had seen her mini bus coming from afar, but had subconsciously joined the queue for another bus which was already in the midst of picking up passengers from the bus stop. Since the interior of all mini buses looked alike, she had not suspected anything amiss at first. After a while, it slowly dawned on her that the bus was taking a different route altogether. Needless to say, she had to get off the bus prematurely. I can still recall how we guffawed at her tale while we were in the classroom that day. It had seemed really silly and careless even though it was a classic, typical error in eye-foot coordination.

"What goes around comes around." 


I learned the above lesson the following day when another classmate, C, quietly confided in me that she herself had taken the wrong bus that afternoon immediately after laughing at J's story. She had also seen her bus coming from afar but had somehow gotten into the wrong bus. Luckily for her, though, the bus was going in the same direction as her home, just not close enough. She decided to get off and walk all the way home under the scorching sun, more to save herself from the embarrassment than to save her bus fare. How could she recount the tale to others after having laughed so loudly the day before?

I didn't dare laugh at her story after that. You see, I still had my own bus to catch that afternoon, too.



But I guess one of the most embarrassing bus episodes happened to my friend's mom.

Here is an obvious, yet unwritten rule: if you are someone who normally drives to your destination and enjoys the comfort of your own vehicle, you will find it very awkward to switch to public transport. Not only do you need to study which bus/train to take, which interchange to get down at, and how to make payment (trust me, it can be rocket science to some people), you will also quickly need to master the art of maintaining your center of gravity while the bus driver takes you on a roller-coaster ride. Rid yourselves of romantic bus scenes where the male lead towers protectively over the female lead and catches her the moment she loses her balance. In reality, there is just no one to catch you if you fall.

My friend's mother found herself in one such predicament when she had to take the public bus one day. Just as the driver was taking a corner, or jamming on the brakes, she felt her balance suddenly dissipating from her body, so she quickly wrapped her fingers around a cold, stainless steel pole near her. Strangely enough, the pole did not provide the support she had anticipated. In fact, it was swaying along with her! She turned to look at it again and as her eyes traced the end of that 'pole', she realised that she was actually not holding onto the sturdy pole in the middle of the bus, but was clutching steadfastly on to another passenger's crutches! No wonder it had kept moving about...

I cannot recall if she had accidentally sat on any passengers that day. But my friend told me that her mom was extremely apologetic to the passenger with the crutches. Good thing she was not a regular passenger on the bus. It would have been quite embarrassing to bump into the same person (or anyone else in the bus that day) ever again.

I actually do have many other embarrassing stories, specifically regarding drivers and their own vehicles but perhaps, in the same way food is rationed during MCO, I should also ration my stories and save it for the next entry.

In the meantime, I hope you were somewhat entertained.

Stay at home, stay safe, and most importantly, stay SANE!

Thursday, 5 March 2020

5 Words I Only Learned in Adulthood


My colleague once told me how an 8 year-old neighour persuaded her then 10-year-old nephew to key in the letters S.E.X while surfing the Internet. My first thought? I doubt if I knew how to spell the word SEX when I was eight (yes, I was a very slow learner when it came to reading), let alone understand what that word entails.

But oh, how the times have changed! Thanks to the Internet, TV, iPad, and mobile phones, kids these days are exposed to practically everything, at times to their greater disadvantage.

Here are five very ordinary words that I only got to learn as an adult.


#1 Decapitate

Back when we were still in school, the only form of death penalty we had ever heard of was "gantung sampai mati" (hanged to death), and it was a punishment befitting a murderer or a drug addict/pusher. It was only in my higher secondary school years that I discovered the word "noose" was in actual fact, NOT a misspelling of the organ, "nose".

As an adult, though, and with the rise of ISIS and other extremist groups, another word has made its way into the tabloid, TV, radio and other media i.e. the verb to DECAPITATE.

Teddy Biscuits
One of my friends' three-year-old daughter shared her teddy biscuits with me one day and as she snapped off the head (of the teddy biscuit, of course!), I casually remarked, "Oh look, you have just decapitated the bear!"

In my defense, I do not have kids of my own, so I naturally forget to put on my G-rated filters whenever I speak to them. This little girl paused for a short while and looked at me. I thought the episode was over until my friend texted me the very next morning saying, "Thanks to you, my three-year-old just used the word DECAPITATE during breakfast!"

Whoops! It was highly unintentional. Moral of the story? Always keep your kids away from Aunty Lilian...


#2 Epicentre

One of the very few things I recall from Geography lessons is the fact that our beloved country, Malaysia, does not rest on the "Lingkaran Gunung Berapi Pasifik" (the Pacific Ring of Fire). We have been constantly reminded that our nation is indeed very blessed because we did not experience earthquakes and other massive movements of the land and/or sea, unlike many of our neighbouring countries.
Photo taken from The Star showing image before and after the earthquake

Nonetheless, we have since experienced our fair share of natural disasters such as the tsunami in 2004, Bukit Tinggi earthquakes between 2007-2009, and of course, the 2015 Ranau earthquake that changed the landscape of Mount Kinabalu forever. Whenever any of these disasters occurred, we kept hearing the word, "epicentre" being used very often, in reference to the "point on the earth's surface vertically above the focus of an earthquake."

Of late, though, the word "epicentre" has regained its popularity with the spread of the COVID-19, as a result of Coronavirus. This time, the Hubei province in China has been labelled the epicentre of the disease. Before SARS and MERS-CoV, we haven't had the need to label any location as the epicentre of an epidemic. This shows that the word is no longer exclusive to earthquakes but to any central point of an unpleasant situation. 



#3 Viral

To describe SARS, MERS-CoV, and COVID 19 as viral diseases makes sense. But the word "viral" has transcended beyond its medical usage and has become rather inclusive.

These days, when something goes viral, it may not necessarily refer to diseases. It could be anything that has become very widespread, especially on the Internet. With the technology of pin-hole cameras, coupled with the accessibility of mobile phones and the Internet, practically any incident can be recorded and easily shared to the point of no return. The same goes to pictures and text messages. For that reason, we are now stuck with lots of Fake News circulating in our midst.


#4 Catfish

And then there are some words that I only got to learn after becoming a lecturer and interacting with students who are probably half my age.

Yums, ikan keli sambal cili merah

Whenever I frequent a nasi campur (mixed rice) stall, my eyes cannot resist zooming into the ikan keli (which is usually served fried and blanketed under lots and lots of chilis). Despite its slightly hideous appearance, I simply love the texture of the fish, from its super crunchy deep fried head to its succulent and sweet white flesh enveloping the needle-fine bones.

Oh boy, just thinking about it makes my mouth water...

That, to me, ladies and gentlemen, is what catfish is all about.

Imagine my confusion then when students brought up the term "catfish" as we were discussing the pros and cons of using social media. Apparently, "catfishing" is one of the many dangers that users face online. As far as I was concerned, however, the only catfish in my mind was seducing me from across the table of the nasi campur stall...

If you have no idea what "catfishing" means, you are probably as ancient and outdated as I am (or even more). According to urbandictionary.com, "catfish" is a fake or stolen identity created or used for the purposes of beginning a deceptive relationship. In short, if you happen to be a hamsap (filthy) old man trying to con an innocent young girl online, you should take a good look in the mirror. I mean, you could have transformed into a catfish, unknowingly.


#5 Telegram

One of the more shocking words I learned also has to do with the topic of social media. While asking students to list the types of communication used today, one of the students (a very polite, obliging, and gentle soul) blurted out, "telegram".


I mustered all my sense of control so as not to laugh out loud at what I thought was an extremely outdated suggestion. I had immediately pictured boys or girls in colourful costumes, ringing the doorbell of houses and singing telegram messages. Or at least postcards with very limited number of words (considering it was pretty expensive back then to send one and the payment depended a lot on the number of words).

I thought to myself, "This kid must be living in the 1960s! Who sends telegram these days?"

You see, this was what I had in mind:

An image of what an old telegram would look like (though this is dated 2013)

But this was what he meant:

Telegram: A modern app
Talk about generation gap! At the end of the day, the joke was on me. To this day, I still do not know what is so special about this application, but many people are leaning towards it. Many even claim that it is better than WhatsApp. This goes to show that I should never underestimate my students' knowledge, especially when it involves new slang and terminology.


What about you? Do you have words that you only got to learn as an adult?

Tuesday, 4 February 2020

In the Blink of an Eye

Ever wondered how things can undergo massive change within a short period of time? 

The legendary Kobe Bryant

About a week ago, the world was shocked by the tragic death of NBA legend, Kobe Bryant. To be honest, I never knew who he was although students have claimed to worship him. It was only after Kobe Bryant's death that my brother gradually introduced me to this outstanding individual. We watched as he led his team to victory in the basketball court:


As you can see towards the end of the clip, the scoreboard shows 107 points, favouring the opposing team against his own team's 105 points, and there is less than a minute left on the clock. Just when you think that the Lakers are going down, Kobe Bryant scores a 3-pointer, leading his team to turn the tables around and win that match by ONE point, at the very LAST second, no less.

I thought such drama was reserved only for movies but apparently Kobe Bryant had perfected this scene many times.

Despite his outstanding achievements and legendary contributions, Kobe Bryant was gone in the blink of an eye. A helicopter crash put an abrupt end to his life. Oh, how things must have changed for his family, friends, and fans in that split second!

That got me thinking … many things and circumstances can (and have) really change(d) within a short span of time.

Take the recent Coronavirus outbreak in Wuhan, for instance. Less than two weeks ago, the whole of China was experiencing mass exodus throughout the nation. Due to the longer Chinese New Year public holidays, many may have planned to go on tours or return to their hometowns to celebrate with their loved ones.



As soon as the outbreak of the virus got out of hand, though, cities were under lockdown and travel restrictions were issued on anyone who has been to or is coming from China. Needless to say, this year's Chinese New Year celebration was quite a sombre affair. Who would have imagined that the situation could change so drastically within a span of 2 weeks? 

Family reunions, business plans, study plans, and much-anticipated holidays were and still are unexpectedly thwarted by the change of events. Individuals and families are trapped in various destinations and are left to deal with the sticky situation. 

On the surface, this may seem to affect only people in/from China, but in reality, it is NOT as simple as that. 

I, for one, have been on the receiving end without even having to leave Malaysia at all. How so, you ask? 

At the start of this auspicious year, while most people were excitedly looking forward to the turn of a new decade, I was experiencing some personal twists and turns in my career. As a part-timer, I have been given the opportunity to teach at 2 new places. One involves exchange students from South Korea, while the other has many students originating from mainland China. (I bet you know where this entry is heading, haha!)

The one-month student exchange programme was scheduled to start yesterday. Unfortunately, we were suddenly informed late last Friday evening that the entire programme had to be called off due to travel restrictions on the South Korean students.

To say that I was not disappointed would be a lie. As a result of low student intake and cost cutting measures in many educational institutions, classes have reduced quite significantly in the past few months, so I was actually looking forward to these new places (and faces).

And of course, there is always an unexplained charm that awaits any new adventure, don't you agree?


With the anticipation as well as anxiety of a kid who is getting ready to go to school for the very first time, I had not only prepared for classes but also made plans for my meals and journey there. The preparation was not only on my part, but also on the part of the administrative staff. Since we were all part-timers, we had to synchronise our schedules and I admit that must have been a huge headache to the person in charge.

But I guess no one is more disappointed than the students who were supposed to arrive in Malaysia. Imagine all the months of preparation just to get ready for this trip: shopping, packing, applying for visa, purchasing flight tickets, planning itinerary of food they want to eat and places they would like to visit. And to think that all that were crushed less than 5 days they were supposed to arrive in Malaysia! I felt truly sorry for them.

Even the other institution where I am supposed to have classes have decided to postpone their semester by a week, considering that many of their students are from mainland China.

All of a sudden, I find my work schedule being thrown into a washing machine and set on a high spin mode. This was certainly unexpected two weeks ago...


Nonetheless, my more rationale side knows deep down that such arrangements are better than having to expose students (or anyone for that matter) to the dangers of contracting Coronavirus, or being stranded away from home. Plus, this whole situation was really no one's fault.

Star Wars composer, John Williams
This incident also reminds me of my brother's trip to Europe two years ago. He had heard then that the great composer, John Williams, would be conducting the London Symphony Orchestra at the Royal Albert Hall, so he not only booked tickets to the concert eight months in advance, but also centered his entire three-week Europe trip around the date of the concert. Alas, while he was making his trip to Sweden just a few days before the concert, he learned that John Williams had arrived in England but had taken ill and therefore, could not make it for the much-awaited event!

No doubt my brother and his friends were highly disappointed. My brother, for one, had travelled half way around the world just to fulfill his lifelong dream of seeing John Williams live. Even so, one of his friends pointed out that the musicians for the concert would have been even more devastated considering they were looking forward to have John Williams be their conductor!

All these go to show that no matter how careful we may plan ahead, things may not always go according to our plan.

Did you think Kobe Bryant had no plans for his daughter? Yet, both of them perished in the blink of an eye. The same is true of many who are affected by the Coronavirus.

Major changes can indeed occur in the blink of an eye.

Those who are cheeky will suggest, "Then don't blink." But we cannot help it because blinking is a part of our human process to "clear away dust particles and spread lubricating fluids across the eyeball" (Mauk, 2012).

Plans may get thwarted, but that also means we should never take situations or even people for granted. Family members and friends whom we have just met during the recent CNY gathering may not necessarily be there next year. The peace and comfort that we experience today may not stay for tomorrow. The stable economy that we live in now may not remain for long. Case in point, even as I am writing this, Air Asia shares are plunging in response to a bribery scandal which was unheard of just three days ago.

As such, let us cherish what we have today and make the best of what life offers tomorrow.

Have a great midweek and always stay positive!