Breaking Up is Hard To Do

It is not easy to end a 7-year relationship, let alone one that is twice as long. 

Even so, it takes a while for the emotions to settle, before being able to pen any thoughts on the experience...

In October last year, I had to make a drastic decision to pull the plug on a very special bond that had lasted for the past 14 years. Truth be told, it was not easy to finally say goodbye to a friend who has seen me through thick and thin (and for most of my adult life, mind you). 

SS has always been strong, sturdy, and dependable -- exactly what you would look for in a partner. We have journeyed through many different milestones together. Whether it was work or home related, I have found a very good confidante in this faithful companion.

For one thing, SS was there to comfort and assure me when I resigned from my very first full-time job. One of my dearest colleagues watched and cried as I loaded the boxes filled with 5 years' worth of toil and sweat into the car. Even though I had laughed at that poor colleague, no one but SS alone knew that I had actually burst into tears myself as I drove away from that scene. 

SS was also there to give me courage when I made a daring decision to accept a new job and relocate to Klang, a town I had hardly ever visited. Because of the distance from home, I decided to rent a room to stay on weekdays. On those days, SS and I got lost together and travelled the unfamiliar streets of the town in peaceful silence. On Friday evenings, we looked forward to going home together, despite having to battle through the heavy traffic. 

I left Klang for good when the college eventually moved to KL. I cleared the room that had become my home for almost a year, and once again, I witnessed the landlady watching and crying as I moved my worldly possessions into the car. I tried to comfort the sweet old lady by thanking her for all she has done, and jokingly said, "Auntie, don't cry. I am not dying. I am just moving back to KL." She did not know that I too had cried as I drove that last 31 km back home. But SS knew... 

When I decided to become a freelancer, SS became even more of my confidante and sanctuary. Most workplaces did not provide exclusive seats for part-timers, so I spent quite a bit of my time resting peacefully in the arms of SS instead. Whenever I arrived early at my workplace, I would put on the sunshades and doze for a while. Sometimes during lunch, I would eat in the car. With all that commuting in the Klang Valley traffic, SS and I inadvertently got to know each other better. 

I am also truly grateful for all the times when SS had gone above and beyond the call of duty. A case in point, I would not have been able to play the role as my dad's personal Food Panda when he was hospitalised, if not for SS's sturdy, dependable nature. Together, we made two trips each day to the hospital, delivering warm food lovingly prepared by my mom. No doubt it was tiring, but at least we were able to ease my dad's discomfort, albeit a little. 

By now, you should be able to guess who this SS is. Yup, it's none other than my old and faithful Myvi. Or rather, the Myvi that once belonged to me. Because the Kancil before this was named Donatello (from the Ninja Turtles), I was compelled to give this car a nickname too. The closest I could think of for the silver Myvi at that point was just Silver Surfer (from Fantastic Four), hence SS. 

After years of ferrying friends and relatives, providing a safe space for gossips and endless memories while we sit in the car and let the engine run, and even taking students to theatres and events; the guy at the service centre finally served me the ultimatum -- a list of car parts that were gradually breaking down. For one thing, SS had started to become lukewarm (yes, in its literal sense, because the air conditioning had started to break down, among many other things). I don't think it was because of my carelessness or negligence, but more so due to the inevitable wear and tear throughout the years. Degeneration, of the car, that is. I had no choice but to finally resign to fate and say goodbye. 

With a heavy heart, I let SS go. After 14 years of accompanying each other, one would surely be able to recognise every part and idiosyncrasy that the car has. There may be tonnes of other silver Myvis on the road, but I can always distinguish my dear Silver Surfer from the others. Don't ask me how. I can walk aimlessly in the crowded carpark and still be able to stop right in front of my car. It just has a very special aura and attitude that draws me to it like a magnet, very much like a mother who can sense the presence of her child without even looking around.

If it wasn't because of the fact that I have to travel 42km to work and another 42 km back, I would have loved to prolong my relationship with SS and see what else develops. For a long time, I had thought that SS will be my last love and that I will never ever change cars. I was left with two choices: keep driving the old car and risk having it break down along the way, or say goodbye to the old car, start paying instalments for the new one but at least be able to drive with peace of mind.

I am relieved. however, to know that I am not the only person who is so unhealthily obsessive about her car. Not long after 'breaking up' with SS, two of my cousins who had much longer relationships with their cars (more than 2 decades!) had to sell their beloved cars, too. Again, the parting was not easy and they tried coming up with all kinds of excuses to keep the old car. In the end, the old still had to make way for the new. The only silver lining was that during the transition, we were able to console each other because we understood how much it hurt to say goodbye. 

Today marks the precise day I let SS go. After exactly a year, do I still miss it? Of course I do! One does not erase 14 years of one's life just like that. I will still take a double turn whenever I spot a car that resembles SS. Old habits do die hard. What about my new 'love' then? Well, that is a story for another day. Today, I just want to thank God for the car that has served me faithfully for the past 14 years. 

Let me know if you have a crazy attachment to your car, too. Haha!