I was at my uncle's house for Chinese New Year visit when he started complaining about another relative who always does not pick up phone calls and somehow gives all sorts of excuses for not answering. The more he dwelt on that topic, the more agitated he became. My aunt, his wife, then chimed in with her easy peasy lemon squeezy solution: "Instead of getting all upset while waiting for that person to pick up your call, just scroll your phone and look for a picture greeting with the words Happy New Year 2023. Forward it over via WhatsApp. Gao tiem. (Done) Why get angry over such trivial matters?"
I had to smile at my aunt's solution. She has always professed to be a non-confrontational person, anyway. But that incident reminds me that there are various preferences when it comes to communicating, and sometimes it is not so easy to accommodate to the other person's method.
I, for one, have always leaned towards texting. I somehow find it less disruptive because the recipient can always check the text whenever he/she wants to (or not check it at all). Perhaps I think too much, but I always wonder if the person on the other end is either driving, in a meeting, in a class, in the toilet, in the kitchen, carrying tonnes of groceries, eating fried chicken with bare hands, or changing some kids' diapers etc. and would therefore find it inconvenient to answer the call at that particular moment. It makes more sense to give that person some time and space to read the message and reply under less stressful situations. Likewise, texting also benefits the sender i.e. it buys time to sort the ideas clearly and check one's message before sending.
What if the blue ticks are visible and there is still no reply after some time? Nasib, lar... (too bad!) But I do agree that it can be somewhat upsetting if you were expecting an immediate reply from the recipient. Imagine if you are outside picking up some groceries or trying to get a take-away, and you are eagerly anticipating for the other person's feedback. You would probably end up leaving that place before you actually get a reply. I am often guilty of this. My brother will text to ask if I need anything from a particular store and I will only reply once he has already left or is about to drive off. That is a surefire way to annoy him.
Some people like my mom, though, have yet to learn how to text. This is a woman who opted for early retirement just as computers started to make their way into the office. To this day, I can teach her how to use the keyboard on the mobile for countless times, yet she will still get irritated and ditch the message altogether. Being old schooled, she is extremely particular over upper cases and punctuation marks, so she gets really upset when she cannot locate them on the keyboard. Furthermore, she is intimidated by her own misspelling of words. Seriously, if my students were half as concerned with their spelling as my mom is, I would have undoubtedly given them a higher grade. After struggling for a few minutes, she would start throwing tantrums like a 3-year-old and literally threaten to throw her mobile away, "Aiyahhhh, I really hate that stupid handphone! This is why I don't want a phone! Get rid of it!" Of course, whenever she gets into this mode, she forgets all those times when she enjoys listening to songs/watching videos that her friends share via WhatsApp.
My dad, who cannot text at all because of his failing eyesight, confidently scrolls down his list of contacts and calls people at random. Unlike me, he does not care if the other person is at work, having their meals, about to go to bed etc. It is also due to his poor vision that he often ends up calling the wrong person instead and somehow ends up with an unintentional catch-up session. He optimistically thinks that it is a blessing in disguise, but I dare not say the same for the receiver of his random phone calls.
It is only in recent months that I have started to utilize audio messages on WhatsApp. I realise that I actually speak in different dialects and different languages to different groups of people. If the person that I am trying to contact is more comfortable in Hakka or Cantonese, I will then have not much choice but to resort to voice recording. Well, there isn't much left for a total banana (Mandarin-illiterate) person to do, is there? I can't type a single Chinese character and my hanyin pinyin is terrible (if I even know how to use it). I do find the process quite challenging, however, because I feel extremely conscious of my voice and intonation (which often comes out inaccurate) but I have no choice because that is still the best form of communication with certain contacts.
One major drawback of audio recording is that we cannot retrieve information easily. I try not to click on audio messages when in public for fear of having half the passengers on the train or in the lift hear the other person's 'private/personal' message. As a result, I sometimes leave voice messages unchecked until I am safely at home. Unfortunately, it is also often too late in the night to reply at that hour, which could result in me either forgetting the message entirely or only replying the following day. It is also quite difficult to check specific details from previous messages since everything is in the form of audio and one cannot read them. One would frantically scroll and listen to every audio message, just to look for that priceless piece of information. At the end of the day, I would still choose texting over audio messages anytime.
If you find phone calls disruptive, video calls take the cake. Such calls are certainly, on a whole new level. I do understand that it is heartwarming to be able to see the person we are speaking to, especially if we have not seen that person for a long time or happen to be calling from a distance. It narrows the gap and makes communication easier. Thanks to video calls, lockdowns during the pandemic became slightly more bearable.
Despite its advantages, TIMING is essential in any video call. Take one particular incident, for instance. My aunt in UK enjoys contacting us via video call. She will then persuade her adorable little granddaughter to talk to us and somehow, our video calls may end up in a battle where both sides keep showing off all sorts of food in our possession, with the aim of teasing each other and causing the other party to salivate. On one such occasion, my aunt started a video call just when my cousin was sitting on the 'throne' (the toilet, that is). Even though she had her phone with her, it was not the right time to pick it up because well, who wants to see another person in the toilet? But being in the toilet is not the only reason why some people may not pick up a video call immediately. I should think that the receiver may not feel confident picking up such calls if the surrounding is too noisy, or too dark, or even if he/she has not drawn any eyebrows/put on lipstick and thus not look presentable enough.
So there you go, with so many forms of communication, we have become spoilt with choices. No matter which method we prefer, if it helps to convey the message clearly and enables us to maintain a close bond with each other, then the mobile phone is not so bad, after all.
Finally, since we are at the last few days of Chinese New Year celebrations, do allow me to take the cue from my aunt, and share this picture greeting (which I have confidently stolen from the Internet):
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR 2023, indeed!
