An Urgent Plea to the Young Voters

 "Hope" is the thing with feathers - 
That perches in the soul - 
And sings the tune without the words - 
And never stops - at all -

And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard
And sore must be the storm - 
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm - 

I've heard it in the chillest land - 
And on the strangest Sea -
Yet - never - in Extremity,
It asked a crumb - of me.

- Emily Dickinson

My very first formal encounter with English Literature took place in a Form Four classroom decades ago. Mrs. Harbans, the tall and stately English Lit icon in our school, strode into the classroom and wrote the poem above on the blackboard in her neat, typically teacher's handwriting. She added a twist to the poem, though, for she had omitted some words and left them to our 16-year-old's active imagination.

As my classmates and I cracked our heads to think of the most accurate words to fill in the blanks that day (mind you, it was way harder then because we did not have phones or the Internet to refer to), little did I know that English Literature would eventually take up a big part of my life, and more importantly, my mindset. I still try to squeeze this poem in whenever there is an opportunity to do so but today, I am going to seek the assistance of Emily Dickinson's masterpiece to make a gentle plea to the youngsters who will be going to the polling station (perhaps even for the first time) this Saturday. 

I suspect that many youths today do not quite know whom/which party to vote for. I don't blame them at all. As an adult, I am having a hard time myself, too. It is not only a case of choosing between "both sides of a rotten apple". From what I have seen of the fruit thus far, both sides of the apple have become more rotten than before. The even more disturbing news, however, is this: if we choose wrongly or do not choose at all, it can escalate to a point where things become as rotten as they can ever get. 

There were two topics that I extremely abhorred as a child: technology and politics. I am sure I am not alone in saying this. I could never understand any news related to politics. After all, news on robberies, murders, and natural disasters are often more sensational and strangely more 'palatable' (despite its gruesome nature), so I could not comprehend why our Standard 5 teacher forced us to memorise the names of the ministers in the cabinet back then. Why was it important for us to know who was in charge of which ministry? How would it impact a bunch of 11-year-olds? Strangely though, those names are still stuck somewhere at the back of my mind today even though I cannot seem to recognise the names of our current ministers. Hmm ... perhaps that was why. 

Lately, though, I have come to realise that it is important to roughly know what is going on in our country. Not because we want to see what kind of 'bantuan' is being doled out and to whom, or what other empty promises are strewn about as baits to unsuspecting citizens, but more so because ... it is OUR country. It is our responsibility, therefore, to be in the know. Do we remain in our family simply because we hope we get some benefits out of our family members? Is that why we were born into that family? Really?

As an adult, I have heard too many discouraging news about the state of our nation. Many friends and relatives have left the country for 'greener pastures' elsewhere. Those who are still here are encouraging and even forcing their next generation to leave Malaysia. "There is no hope left for you over here," they say. "Leave now and build a brighter future elsewhere. Why do you want to stay in a place where you are not appreciated?" In most instances, the tone is one that is already jaded.   

Perhaps I am guilty of being too idealistic. Perhaps it is out of sheer ignorance. But what is there to life if there is not even the tiniest sliver of hope? How do we ever move on from here? Is our country so forsaken that there is nothing to be done at all? I don't think so. In fact, I seriously hope not. 

I always remember my colleague's advice: The land has done no wrong. Every time I hear some nonsensical piece of news that is spewed forth from the orifice of some irrational politicians, I recall the innocence of the land that I have been living in. Look at the awesome landscape surrounding us: the waterfalls, the mountains and hills, the blue skies, the sunsets, the beautiful beaches, the paddy fields, and even the hustle and bustle of the city centre. They have done nothing wrong to deserve our insult and hatred. 

Look at the harmony we enjoy in this country. Harmony of food, that is, if nothing else. We get extremely defensive when anyone condemns our Nasi Lemak, or claims that Bak Kut Teh originates from our neighbouring country, or say that the Roti Canai we have here is not the 'original' roti. I have yet to come across any travel vloggers who can vouch that they have not gained weight ever since visiting Malaysia. Nothing beats Malaysian food. Every time someone returns from overseas, the first thing they look for will be Malaysian food. You name it, we have it. Maybe it is time for us to see things from their perspective instead. 

And as much as we complain about the people, I believe most Malaysians are generally kindhearted and somewhat united. We take pride in anyone with any Malaysian ties who has made it big outside the country. I mean, if Bill Gates had as little as 0.000000001% Malaysian blood flowing through his veins or had stayed in Malaysia for a quick 2-day stopover, we would have been hearing nonstop about his 'Malaysian' touch all over the local tabloids. And we get extremely gung-ho when it comes to sports, too. Whether it be the Olympics, or Commonwealth Games, or Thomas Cup, or even World Cup, we rally behind our athletes and scream till our throats are sore ... albeit right in front of the TV. 

The bottom line is this, Malaysia is OUR country. Let us never ever forget that. 

Please don't get me wrong. I am not telling you whom to vote for. I believe the choice is very personal and private. And hey, I am the one who thinks that both sides have become rotten apples, anyway. What I am pleading to the youths today is to go and cast your vote if you are eligible. 

Don't give up on Malaysia. She has not given up on you. If there is anyone who can actually make a difference to our country, it will certainly be the youths. You have much more energy, more drive, and a much longer lifetime to live on this land... to make a difference, and to make it better. 

And if you youngsters do not believe that there is still any hope left in the country, what is there left for the rest of us then? Keep the same hope in Emily Dickinson's poem going strong and let it continue to warm all of us. If my 7-decade old mom can wait for 2 hours in line for her turn to vote in 2018, and my dad can waddle there with his 'tongkat', why can't you? 

See you at the polling station! 

Selamat Mengundi! 

Breaking Up is Hard To Do

It is not easy to end a 7-year relationship, let alone one that is twice as long. 

Even so, it takes a while for the emotions to settle, before being able to pen any thoughts on the experience...

In October last year, I had to make a drastic decision to pull the plug on a very special bond that had lasted for the past 14 years. Truth be told, it was not easy to finally say goodbye to a friend who has seen me through thick and thin (and for most of my adult life, mind you). 

SS has always been strong, sturdy, and dependable -- exactly what you would look for in a partner. We have journeyed through many different milestones together. Whether it was work or home related, I have found a very good confidante in this faithful companion.

For one thing, SS was there to comfort and assure me when I resigned from my very first full-time job. One of my dearest colleagues watched and cried as I loaded the boxes filled with 5 years' worth of toil and sweat into the car. Even though I had laughed at that poor colleague, no one but SS alone knew that I had actually burst into tears myself as I drove away from that scene. 

SS was also there to give me courage when I made a daring decision to accept a new job and relocate to Klang, a town I had hardly ever visited. Because of the distance from home, I decided to rent a room to stay on weekdays. On those days, SS and I got lost together and travelled the unfamiliar streets of the town in peaceful silence. On Friday evenings, we looked forward to going home together, despite having to battle through the heavy traffic. 

I left Klang for good when the college eventually moved to KL. I cleared the room that had become my home for almost a year, and once again, I witnessed the landlady watching and crying as I moved my worldly possessions into the car. I tried to comfort the sweet old lady by thanking her for all she has done, and jokingly said, "Auntie, don't cry. I am not dying. I am just moving back to KL." She did not know that I too had cried as I drove that last 31 km back home. But SS knew... 

When I decided to become a freelancer, SS became even more of my confidante and sanctuary. Most workplaces did not provide exclusive seats for part-timers, so I spent quite a bit of my time resting peacefully in the arms of SS instead. Whenever I arrived early at my workplace, I would put on the sunshades and doze for a while. Sometimes during lunch, I would eat in the car. With all that commuting in the Klang Valley traffic, SS and I inadvertently got to know each other better. 

I am also truly grateful for all the times when SS had gone above and beyond the call of duty. A case in point, I would not have been able to play the role as my dad's personal Food Panda when he was hospitalised, if not for SS's sturdy, dependable nature. Together, we made two trips each day to the hospital, delivering warm food lovingly prepared by my mom. No doubt it was tiring, but at least we were able to ease my dad's discomfort, albeit a little. 

By now, you should be able to guess who this SS is. Yup, it's none other than my old and faithful Myvi. Or rather, the Myvi that once belonged to me. Because the Kancil before this was named Donatello (from the Ninja Turtles), I was compelled to give this car a nickname too. The closest I could think of for the silver Myvi at that point was just Silver Surfer (from Fantastic Four), hence SS. 

After years of ferrying friends and relatives, providing a safe space for gossips and endless memories while we sit in the car and let the engine run, and even taking students to theatres and events; the guy at the service centre finally served me the ultimatum -- a list of car parts that were gradually breaking down. For one thing, SS had started to become lukewarm (yes, in its literal sense, because the air conditioning had started to break down, among many other things). I don't think it was because of my carelessness or negligence, but more so due to the inevitable wear and tear throughout the years. Degeneration, of the car, that is. I had no choice but to finally resign to fate and say goodbye. 

With a heavy heart, I let SS go. After 14 years of accompanying each other, one would surely be able to recognise every part and idiosyncrasy that the car has. There may be tonnes of other silver Myvis on the road, but I can always distinguish my dear Silver Surfer from the others. Don't ask me how. I can walk aimlessly in the crowded carpark and still be able to stop right in front of my car. It just has a very special aura and attitude that draws me to it like a magnet, very much like a mother who can sense the presence of her child without even looking around.

If it wasn't because of the fact that I have to travel 42km to work and another 42 km back, I would have loved to prolong my relationship with SS and see what else develops. For a long time, I had thought that SS will be my last love and that I will never ever change cars. I was left with two choices: keep driving the old car and risk having it break down along the way, or say goodbye to the old car, start paying instalments for the new one but at least be able to drive with peace of mind.

I am relieved. however, to know that I am not the only person who is so unhealthily obsessive about her car. Not long after 'breaking up' with SS, two of my cousins who had much longer relationships with their cars (more than 2 decades!) had to sell their beloved cars, too. Again, the parting was not easy and they tried coming up with all kinds of excuses to keep the old car. In the end, the old still had to make way for the new. The only silver lining was that during the transition, we were able to console each other because we understood how much it hurt to say goodbye. 

Today marks the precise day I let SS go. After exactly a year, do I still miss it? Of course I do! One does not erase 14 years of one's life just like that. I will still take a double turn whenever I spot a car that resembles SS. Old habits do die hard. What about my new 'love' then? Well, that is a story for another day. Today, I just want to thank God for the car that has served me faithfully for the past 14 years. 

Let me know if you have a crazy attachment to your car, too. Haha!  

The Chinese Obsession with Numbers

3585

3680 

4094

5725

Do you recognise the numbers above? If you find them to be quite familiar, you must have been diligently following our nation's number of Covid-19 infections in the past 4 days ... for various reasons. I say 'various reasons' because I know of some who genuinely study the numbers to analyze the pattern of infection or to speculate whether the nation will have to undergo the highly-rumoured lockdown come February 4. Even so, there are others who look at the numbers and are only able to see potential 4-digits (4D) winning lotteries (think Toto, Magnum, da ma cai etc.). Among this final batch of observers, one can bet that many are actually Chinese... 

We Chinese have always been known to be obsessed with numbers. Every number (as well as every combination of numbers) has its own interpretation, and this cannot be more true than for Cantonese (and Hakka) speakers. Perhaps, to get a better grasp of this entry, it helps to first take a look at the picture below courtesy of the Viking Barca website and to study how each number is pronounced in the Cantonese dialect: 

If you have just failed your mathematic paper, or hate numbers in general, you may find this entry very disturbing and tortuous as it is ALL about numbers and nothing else. If that be the case, please feel free to stop reading here. But if you are a Cantonese speaker, you may be able to relate and laugh at some of these puns with numbers...

(You may need to pardon my lack of knowledge in Chinese characters and inaccurate pinyin, though. I am just trying to capture the right sound.) 

I think most people already know that in the Chinese culture, the digit "8" is auspicious, whereas the number "4" is NOT so popular among those who are superstitious. This is because the digit "8" (baat) is often conveniently tweaked as fatt, which means "to prosper". To the Chinese, "prosperity" is the world. On the contrary, the digit "4" (say) has the same sound as "sei" i.e. "to die". Naturally, most Chinese (being the money-minded monsters that we are) will prefer number 8, and avoid no. 4 like a plague. 

For this reason, many apartments, condominiums, and high-rise buildings DO NOT have a unit no. 4 or a Level 4 in its premise. This comes as a surprise, especially to foreigners. Instead of a Level 4, you will most likely see Levels 1, 2, 3, 3A, 5 etc. This also stretches on to Levels 11, 12, 13, 13A, 15... because the number "10" sap sounds even more similar to saat which means "definitely". To have Level 14 is, therefore, equivalent to saat say, which in typical Chinese translation means ... "sure die wan!" 

A foreigner exclaims his surprise at the unusual buttons found in Malaysian lifts

If you think it ends here, you are wrong because Level 24 is not going to be any better. The digit "2" in Cantonese is pronounced as yee, which also means "easy". Of course, by itself, the number promises ease in all sorts of situation. Case in point, if one's unit is at no. 23, it would be yee sam or yee sang which is good for couples who are trying to start a family. As for unit no. 28, it would be yee fatt i.e. "easy/smooth prosperity". Nonetheless, when paired with an inauspicious digit, namely "4", it can only mean "disaster". Yee say is to "die easily". While optimists look at 24 as a blessing (hmm... it certainly beats struggling in death), the Chinese also avoid this like a pandemic! 

If a building has many floors, I suspect that the units on the 88th floor would most likely be the priciest of all. You see, to have double '8' is akin to "double prosperity". Actually, anything ending with an "8" is almost certain to be auspicious. I use the term "almost" because there is an exception to the rule. While it is considered positive to work at Level 48 (say fatt, which denotes "endless prosperity"), superstitious business men and women may avoid setting up their office at Level 58 (mm fatt)! The digit "5", mm, reverses everything because it simply means "no/not". To have one's office at Level 58 suggests that business is NOT going to prosper. Isn't that wonderfully ironic? 

Oh, have you also come across Chinese restaurants with weird numbers (not based on their actual unit number, mind you) on their signboards? I have seen Restoran 168 (yat lou fatt = "prosperity all the way", and Restoran 118 (yat yat fatt = "daily prosperity"), but I am quite sure there are Restoran 128 and 188 somewhere as well. 

It is possible, however, for the same digits to mean absolutely different things when arranged in different sequence. For instance, while it is flattering to have 4848 (say fatt say fatt = a repetition of "continuous prosperity", the number has a less impressive interpretation when it is arranged in the reverse, 8484 (fatt say fatt say = "prosper to death")! 

Yet another set of numbers which I find particularly interesting is 5354 (mm sam mm say). My late uncle and aunty used that phrase very often to describe dodgy characters. Likewise, 9394 (gow sam gow say) is to dabble in questionable activities. Needless to say, both combinations have negative connotations! 

Image taken from diamondpaintings.com

This Chinese obsession with numbers is an endless affair. In addition to the pun on numbers, they have also come up with clever and creative phrases/idioms by personifying numbers. When a total stranger demands for our assistance, we tend to justify our reluctance to help by explaining that after all, sam mm sik chaat, which is a direct translation for "no. 3 knoweth not no. 7". Because 3 is far from 7 (and not immediately next to each other), it implies that there is no obligation between these two persons. They are strangers, after all. 

How often have we been guilty of expressing irrelevant ideas or said things that are out of sequence? In Cantonese, there is also an interesting phrase to describe this context: gow mm tup baat (simply said, 9 does not follow after 8). Isn't that an intelligent roundabout way of insulting someone who has just said something irrelevant? Under normal circumstances, no. 9 should follow after no. 8, but in this case, it doesn't. That is so much easier to say (and to understand) than the Latin version i.e. non sequitur.

I suppose one can go on and on playing with numbers and coming up with various interpretations. I know I would have to if I were a car sales executive who is trying to justify the number plate for clients or a property agent who is trying to sell a unit. 

Do you know of any other combination that sounds enlightening or entertaining? Do let me know. Till then, continue to have fun with numbers! 

Virtual Ambivalence: Little Things about Online Classes I will Secretly Miss

I was down to the second last class of the semester before the first MCO (Movement Control Order) was announced in March 2020. With only one class left to go, I set out to record the final lecture. 

In all my years of teaching, never have I thought that I would one day be caught 'working' in front of a camera. Before this, the camera used to be exclusively reserved for actors, models, and those in the entertainment industry. These days, however, we do not need to have a pretty face, a sexy figure, or a 42-inch pair of legs to get onto the screen. In fact, everyone gets more than their share of 5-seconds fame ... to the horror of many.

And if you happen to be a lecturer, you get way more screen-time than anyone else. 

Oh, of course, whether anyone is actually listening on the other side is an entirely different topic altogether. But I digress...

If you know me well enough, (or even if you don't) you would have probably guessed that I am a mimosa pudica, a touch-me-not, when I am in front of a camera. I am capable of performing the most acrobatic matrix moves when I sense myself getting within the frame of any camera. Suffice to say, I have the chubbiest face, the flabbiest body, and the lowest self esteem - the worst combo if you wish to appear on screen. I hate the camera and the camera hates me. The feeling is definitely mutual. I am just more of ... er, what you would call .... a wordy person rather than a visual one! 

Little did we know, however, that Lil Ms Corona would come and transform everyone into an overnight avatar. I, for one, had to finally tear off the sticker on my webcam and use the camera during live sessions via Zoom with the students. In addition, we were also expected to record some of our lectures using PowerPoint slides presentation. This proved to be equally challenging, too, considering that I am not blessed with a cheerful, chirpy voice. On another note, though, my students should be grateful that I am providing the most effective balm to cure insomnia --- albeit in the form of my recorded PowerPoint lectures. =) 

See the sticker covering the webcam? That had to be eventually removed...

When the MCO was first implemented in March, I was curious enough to conduct a quick poll via Zoom to find out if students preferred online or physical classes. After all, the local newspapers then had raved about how both educators and students adored and welcomed online classes. The result? 75 percent of all three groups of students preferred physical classes. Hmm ... I wonder where did the local newspapers get their initial source from?

Nonetheless, now that we have had months of online classes, those same students may have a different point of view. I mean, there are certainly a couple of things which even I, the mimosa pudica of the virtual world, will miss when this whole online learning bites the dust, if it ever does. 

#1 Sleeping In

I think both lecturers and students alike appreciate the extra snooze we now get before class. Under normal circumstances, I would have to leave the house by around 6:30 AM (and even that is sometimes considered late) if I plan to reach my workplace in time for morning classes. Half the time, it's so early that I am not even human yet as I drive on the highway. 

With online classes, I do not need to get up as early, and as a bonus, there is no need to join the heavy traffic and to 'silently cuss' at other drivers at the beginning of the day. I know this is also true for the students because many have confessed that they have woken up just 5 minutes prior to logging on to Zoom. Surprisingly, some of them can still look sleepy and dazed for their 11:00 AM classes! Sleeping in is a perk we will lose when physical classes resume. 

#2 Stretching Out

In addition to sleeping in, I also appreciate the opportunities to stretch on the bed, sofa, or floor in between classes (and during short-breaks, too). Many a time (actually, almost all the time that I am in campus), I would tell my colleagues how I wish to rent a bed just for half an hour or a few short hours to stretch my back. Coincidentally, there were some shoplot hotels renting out their rooms at an hourly rate right opposite one of the colleges where I used to teach. One fine day, I mentioned my desire to rent one of those rooms to take a quick nap. My colleagues then laughed at me and informed me that those 'rooms' were only meant for hanky-panky lunch-hour 'businesses'. (If you get it, then you get it. If you don't, then congratulations, for you have yet to be corrupted by this world.) 

To me, being able to stretch my back really makes a lot of difference. You see, I am not good at sitting still on chairs and I do have the worst posture. Being confined in that position for a long time is utmost torture for me. Stretching on the sofa, bed, and floor is certainly yet another thing I will miss when physical classes resume. 

#3 Multitasking 

One massive advantage of attending online classes is that we get to multitask on a really large scale. I have been guilty of this, both as a host and as a participant. I have soaked my dirty laundry, vacuumed the room, and even washed the toilet during those 10-minute breaks given to students. That, is one of the benefits of having the bathroom right next to my room (where I conduct the live classes). Well, I just need to check that the video and the mic are not switched on. 

As a participant, I have done much worse things. One can find me marking exam papers, preparing for other classes, and folding laundry while listening to the speaker(s). Once, I actually ran around, cooking nasi goreng kampung for my family while attending a webinar with other lecturers. How? I placed the laptop in the kitchen, switched off the camera and mic, and ran back and forth from the laptop to the chopping board, to the kitchen basin, and to the stove. (Of course, our kitchen is super small!) I had even unmuted the microphone to ask and answer questions throughout the session in case they thought that I was not present. The result? The facilitator complimented me for my contributions during the session. Haha! If there is one thing which online classes propagate, it would be sheer hypocrisy!

This was the actual nasi goreng kampung made during the webinar. Not bad, uh? 

#4 Dressing Sloppily

I suspect many lecturers would probably agree that we have become much sloppier in our dressing these days, thanks to online classes. A colleague mentioned that she only plans to look presentable from her neck upwards because that is all that the webcam can capture. While I may not have her courage (in case I have to move about in the middle of class and thus expose myself), I notice that I have been stealing opportunities to wear some of my oldest, most faded, or uncomfortable blouses paired with that pair of slacks that has a faulty zipper. Under normal circumstances, I would have felt really insecure to risk such wardrobe, but knowing that I am in the comfort of my own room, and without watchful eyes, I can easily get away with these sloppy attires. 

To be fair, another reason why some of us choose not to dress up is also because we are no longer in the freezing air-conditioned classrooms in campus, but trapped in the afternoon heat of our non-air conditioned bedrooms! Now that I come to think of it, all of my blazers, jackets, and scarves have not been aired since physical classes had been banned. It is quite impossible to wrap ourselves in such thick, rigid attires in the heat of our home. 

 

#5 Snacking 

I guess the thing I am going to miss the most when physical classes resume is the uninterrupted accessibility to snacks. When I was a full-timer, I used to have a darurat stash (emergency stash) right under the office desk. I would stock up all sorts of canned food, biscuits, packet drinks, instant drinks ... and basically everything that would prevent me from starving in the event a state of emergency is declared. As a part-timer who does not have a designated desk, though, I have had to sacrifice this darurat stash since 2016. I will have to walk over to the canteen or the convenience store to buy snacks if I wish to have any. 

Snacks at home, on the other hand, is endless. Ask anyone who has ever been to our house. From carrots to candies, biscuits to broccolis, you name it, we have it! But the most exciting sight is when I walk into the kitchen and see Mom preparing all sorts of hot, random snacks. Being confined at home (and often glued to YouTube) has prompted her to try various recipes from cekodok pisang, cucur udang, bread, apam balik, and yau char koey! Oh yes, she has definitely made online classes more fun ... for me, at least! 

With all these perks, I am not quite sure if I am ready to get back to physical classes. Oh, of course, there are MANY, MANY disadvantages of online classes, but I think I may need an entire entry to highlight them. In the meantime, I am just going to enjoy whatever life dishes me. I hope you do, too. 

Cheers and Happy 2021! 

B.L.U.R (Episode 1 - Transportation)

"The eyes are useless when the mind is blind." 

                                                                                                                                

I am not sure how many of us have started losing our mind after 3 weeks of MCO (Movement Control Order) here in Malaysia.

During this period, most if not all of our routines have to be rescheduled and/or are compromised. It is not surprising, then, to catch ourselves spacing out occasionally.

Nonetheless, MCO or not, we have all had our episodes of being BLUR, or being absent-minded at some point in our lives.

I revisited one of my 2014 blog posts about wardrobe malfunction and I thought, hey, why not record an entry on transportation blunders this time round? Maybe, just maybe, the next few minutes of MCO might then become slightly more bearable after you have laughed at all these embarrassing, but true stories. 

Have you ever mistaken someone else's car as your own? After all, it could have been the same model, the same colour, and even almost the same car plate.

Apparently, that was what my father had done at the carpark of Alamanda Shopping Centre in Putrajaya, many years ago. To cut him some slack, Dad has been diagnosed with glaucoma for more than 2 decades now and his eyesight has been failing. But one thing that faileth not is his level of confidence, or ignorance (which can sometimes drive us really, really mad, if you know what I mean...).

My mother and my brother were already in the car, waiting for Dad when they caught him striding confidently towards what he assumed was my brother's car back then: a black Proton Wira. It was parked just next to my brother's car. As both of them observed Dad through the windows, they too had confidently assumed that he would surely not be able to open the car door or get into that car anyway and would therefore know that it was the wrong car, even though the two cars may have looked very similar. Alas, how their jaw dropped when he was not only able to open the car door, but to actually get in and comfortably take his seat!

Tell me, what were the odds that a random driver, who drove the same car as my brother, would have coincidentally left his car unlocked in that parking lot, only to let my Dad 'break in', albeit unintentionally?!! He sat in the car for a while before realising that my brother and my mom were laughing hysterically from the car next door.

Not too long ago, I dropped my parents off at the hospital for their routine check-up. Instead of parking at the hospital and waiting with them, I would usually take a walk in the park or hang around nearby to wait for their phone call. Not long after calling me, my mom (the other half with the supposedly better eyesight) saw a silver Perodua Myvi approaching and thought I had arrived. As she tried to open the car door, two other young girls rushed towards the Myvi and explained to my mom that it was their Grab ride, and not hers.

I am sure my parents are not exclusive in this.

I recall a teacher back in secondary school who confessed that she once entered into the wrong car while waiting for her husband to pick her up from work. She thought the car looked familiar, so when it pulled up, she automatically opened the door and got in. When the driver refused to drive away, she turned to look at him and asked, "What are you waiting for?" Imagine her embarrassment and horror when she eventually realized that the driver wasn't her husband at all!

Looks like there are already three embarrassing stories, and I have only touched on the topic of getting into the wrong car. What about other modes of transportation, you ask? Let's see how the humble public bus can teach us a lesson or two on humility.

Because we lived far in the suburbs but studied right in the heart of town, it was never easy for my brother and I to catch the public transport after school, unless we took the KL-Kajang bus or even the KL-Seremban bus and walked from the main highway to the housing estate. On the way home from school one day, my brother overslept and found himself in Kajang. I was on the verge of calling my parents to let them know that perhaps something bad had happened to him since he was taking much longer than usual, when the house phone rang and I heard his voice over the public phone, sheepishly explaining the blunder. Well, at least that was still much better than waking up in Seremban town!

This is City Liner no. 843, the most difficult bus to catch. I am surprised I managed to steal this image from the Internet.

A classmate, J, was telling our group how she had seen her mini bus coming from afar, but had subconsciously joined the queue for another bus which was already in the midst of picking up passengers from the bus stop. Since the interior of all mini buses looked alike, she had not suspected anything amiss at first. After a while, it slowly dawned on her that the bus was taking a different route altogether. Needless to say, she had to get off the bus prematurely. I can still recall how we guffawed at her tale while we were in the classroom that day. It had seemed really silly and careless even though it was a classic, typical error in eye-foot coordination.

"What goes around comes around." 

I learned the above lesson the following day when another classmate, C, quietly confided in me that she herself had taken the wrong bus that afternoon immediately after laughing at J's story. She had also seen her bus coming from afar but had somehow gotten into the wrong bus. Luckily for her, though, the bus was going in the same direction as her home, just not close enough. She decided to get off and walk all the way home under the scorching sun, more to save herself from the embarrassment than to save her bus fare. How could she recount the tale to others after having laughed so loudly the day before?

I didn't dare laugh at her story after that. You see, I still had my own bus to catch that afternoon, too.

But I guess one of the most embarrassing bus episodes happened to my friend's mom.

Here is an obvious, yet unwritten rule: if you are someone who normally drives to your destination and enjoys the comfort of your own vehicle, you will find it very awkward to switch to public transport. Not only do you need to study which bus/train to take, which interchange to get down at, and how to make payment (trust me, it can be rocket science to some people), you will also quickly need to master the art of maintaining your center of gravity while the bus driver takes you on a roller-coaster ride. Rid yourselves of romantic bus scenes where the male lead towers protectively over the female lead and catches her the moment she loses her balance. In reality, there is just no one to catch you if you fall.

My friend's mother found herself in one such predicament when she had to take the public bus one day. Just as the driver was taking a corner, or jamming on the brakes, she felt her balance suddenly dissipating from her body, so she quickly wrapped her fingers around a cold, stainless steel pole near her. Strangely enough, the pole did not provide the support she had anticipated. In fact, it was swaying along with her! She turned to look at it again and as her eyes traced the end of that 'pole', she realised that she was actually not holding onto the sturdy pole in the middle of the bus, but was clutching steadfastly on to another passenger's crutches! No wonder it had kept moving about...

I cannot recall if she had accidentally sat on any passengers that day. But my friend told me that her mom was extremely apologetic to the passenger with the crutches. Good thing she was not a regular passenger on the bus. It would have been quite embarrassing to bump into the same person (or anyone else in the bus that day) ever again.

I actually do have many other embarrassing stories, specifically regarding drivers and their own vehicles but perhaps, in the same way food is rationed during MCO, I should also ration my stories and save it for the next entry.

In the meantime, I hope you were somewhat entertained.

Stay at home, stay safe, and most importantly, stay SANE!

5 Words I Only Learned in Adulthood

My colleague once told me how an 8 year-old neighour persuaded her then 10-year-old nephew to key in the letters S.E.X while surfing the Internet. My first thought? I doubt if I knew how to spell the word SEX when I was eight (yes, I was a very slow learner when it came to reading), let alone understand what that word entails.

But oh, how the times have changed! Thanks to the Internet, TV, iPad, and mobile phones, kids these days are exposed to practically everything, at times to their greater disadvantage.

Here are five very ordinary words that I only got to learn as an adult.


#1 Decapitate

Back when we were still in school, the only form of death penalty we had ever heard of was "gantung sampai mati" (hanged to death), and it was a punishment befitting a murderer or a drug addict/pusher. It was only in my higher secondary school years that I discovered the word "noose" was in actual fact, NOT a misspelling of the organ, "nose".

As an adult, though, and with the rise of ISIS and other extremist groups, another word has made its way into the tabloid, TV, radio and other media i.e. the verb to DECAPITATE.

Teddy Biscuits

One of my friends' three-year-old daughter shared her teddy biscuits with me one day and as she snapped off the head (of the teddy biscuit, of course!), I casually remarked, "Oh look, you have just decapitated the bear!"

In my defense, I do not have kids of my own, so I naturally forget to put on my G-rated filters whenever I speak to them. This little girl paused for a short while and looked at me. I thought the episode was over until my friend texted me the very next morning saying, "Thanks to you, my three-year-old just used the word DECAPITATE during breakfast!"

Whoops! It was highly unintentional. Moral of the story? Always keep your kids away from Aunty Lilian...


#2 Epicentre

One of the very few things I recall from Geography lessons is the fact that our beloved country, Malaysia, does not rest on the "Lingkaran Gunung Berapi Pasifik" (the Pacific Ring of Fire). We have been constantly reminded that our nation is indeed very blessed because we did not experience earthquakes and other massive movements of the land and/or sea, unlike many of our neighbouring countries.

Photo taken from The Star showing image before and after the earthquake

Nonetheless, we have since experienced our fair share of natural disasters such as the tsunami in 2004, Bukit Tinggi earthquakes between 2007-2009, and of course, the 2015 Ranau earthquake that changed the landscape of Mount Kinabalu forever. Whenever any of these disasters occurred, we kept hearing the word, "epicentre" being used very often, in reference to the "point on the earth's surface vertically above the focus of an earthquake."

Of late, though, the word "epicentre" has regained its popularity with the spread of the COVID-19, as a result of Coronavirus. This time, the Hubei province in China has been labelled the epicentre of the disease. Before SARS and MERS-CoV, we haven't had the need to label any location as the epicentre of an epidemic. This shows that the word is no longer exclusive to earthquakes but to any central point of an unpleasant situation. 



#3 Viral

To describe SARS, MERS-CoV, and COVID 19 as viral diseases makes sense. But the word "viral" has transcended beyond its medical usage and has become rather inclusive.

These days, when something goes viral, it may not necessarily refer to diseases. It could be anything that has become very widespread, especially on the Internet. With the technology of pin-hole cameras, coupled with the accessibility of mobile phones and the Internet, practically any incident can be recorded and easily shared to the point of no return. The same goes to pictures and text messages. For that reason, we are now stuck with lots of Fake News circulating in our midst.


#4 Catfish

And then there are some words that I only got to learn after becoming a lecturer and interacting with students who are probably half my age.

Yums, ikan keli sambal cili merah

Whenever I frequent a nasi campur (mixed rice) stall, my eyes cannot resist zooming into the ikan keli (which is usually served fried and blanketed under lots and lots of chilis). Despite its slightly hideous appearance, I simply love the texture of the fish, from its super crunchy deep fried head to its succulent and sweet white flesh enveloping the needle-fine bones.

Oh boy, just thinking about it makes my mouth water...

That, to me, ladies and gentlemen, is what catfish is all about.

Imagine my confusion then when students brought up the term "catfish" as we were discussing the pros and cons of using social media. Apparently, "catfishing" is one of the many dangers that users face online. As far as I was concerned, however, the only catfish in my mind was seducing me from across the table of the nasi campur stall...

If you have no idea what "catfishing" means, you are probably as ancient and outdated as I am (or even more). According to urbandictionary.com, "catfish" is a fake or stolen identity created or used for the purposes of beginning a deceptive relationship. In short, if you happen to be a hamsap (filthy) old man trying to con an innocent young girl online, you should take a good look in the mirror. I mean, you could have transformed into a catfish, unknowingly.


#5 Telegram

One of the more shocking words I learned also has to do with the topic of social media. While asking students to list the types of communication used today, one of the students (a very polite, obliging, and gentle soul) blurted out, "telegram".

I mustered all my sense of control so as not to laugh out loud at what I thought was an extremely outdated suggestion. I had immediately pictured boys or girls in colourful costumes, ringing the doorbell of houses and singing telegram messages. Or at least postcards with very limited number of words (considering it was pretty expensive back then to send one and the payment depended a lot on the number of words).

I thought to myself, "This kid must be living in the 1960s! Who sends telegram these days?"

You see, this was what I had in mind:

An image of what an old telegram would look like (though this is dated 2013)

But this was what he meant:

Telegram: A modern app

Talk about generation gap! At the end of the day, the joke was on me. To this day, I still do not know what is so special about this application, but many people are leaning towards it. Many even claim that it is better than WhatsApp. This goes to show that I should never underestimate my students' knowledge, especially when it involves new slang and terminology.


What about you? Do you have words that you only got to learn as an adult?

In the Blink of an Eye

Ever wondered how things can undergo massive change within a short period of time? 

The legendary Kobe Bryant

About a week ago, the world was shocked by the tragic death of NBA legend, Kobe Bryant. To be honest, I never knew who he was although students have claimed to worship him. It was only after Kobe Bryant's death that my brother gradually introduced me to this outstanding individual. We watched as he led his team to victory in the basketball court:

As you can see towards the end of the clip, the scoreboard shows 107 points, favouring the opposing team against his own team's 105 points, and there is less than a minute left on the clock. Just when you think that the Lakers are going down, Kobe Bryant scores a 3-pointer, leading his team to turn the tables around and win that match by ONE point, at the very LAST second, no less.

I thought such drama was reserved only for movies but apparently Kobe Bryant had perfected this scene many times.

Despite his outstanding achievements and legendary contributions, Kobe Bryant was gone in the blink of an eye. A helicopter crash put an abrupt end to his life. Oh, how things must have changed for his family, friends, and fans in that split second!

That got me thinking … many things and circumstances can (and have) really change(d) within a short span of time.

Take the recent Coronavirus outbreak in Wuhan, for instance. Less than two weeks ago, the whole of China was experiencing mass exodus throughout the nation. Due to the longer Chinese New Year public holidays, many may have planned to go on tours or return to their hometowns to celebrate with their loved ones.

As soon as the outbreak of the virus got out of hand, though, cities were under lockdown and travel restrictions were issued on anyone who has been to or is coming from China. Needless to say, this year's Chinese New Year celebration was quite a sombre affair. Who would have imagined that the situation could change so drastically within a span of 2 weeks? 

Family reunions, business plans, study plans, and much-anticipated holidays were and still are unexpectedly thwarted by the change of events. Individuals and families are trapped in various destinations and are left to deal with the sticky situation. 

On the surface, this may seem to affect only people in/from China, but in reality, it is NOT as simple as that. 

I, for one, have been on the receiving end without even having to leave Malaysia at all. How so, you ask? 

At the start of this auspicious year, while most people were excitedly looking forward to the turn of a new decade, I was experiencing some personal twists and turns in my career. As a part-timer, I have been given the opportunity to teach at 2 new places. One involves exchange students from South Korea, while the other has many students originating from mainland China. (I bet you know where this entry is heading, haha!)

The one-month student exchange programme was scheduled to start yesterday. Unfortunately, we were suddenly informed late last Friday evening that the entire programme had to be called off due to travel restrictions on the South Korean students.

To say that I was not disappointed would be a lie. As a result of low student intake and cost cutting measures in many educational institutions, classes have reduced quite significantly in the past few months, so I was actually looking forward to these new places (and faces).

And of course, there is always an unexplained charm that awaits any new adventure, don't you agree?

With the anticipation as well as anxiety of a kid who is getting ready to go to school for the very first time, I had not only prepared for classes but also made plans for my meals and journey there. The preparation was not only on my part, but also on the part of the administrative staff. Since we were all part-timers, we had to synchronise our schedules and I admit that must have been a huge headache to the person in charge.

But I guess no one is more disappointed than the students who were supposed to arrive in Malaysia. Imagine all the months of preparation just to get ready for this trip: shopping, packing, applying for visa, purchasing flight tickets, planning itinerary of food they want to eat and places they would like to visit. And to think that all that were crushed less than 5 days they were supposed to arrive in Malaysia! I felt truly sorry for them.

Even the other institution where I am supposed to have classes have decided to postpone their semester by a week, considering that many of their students are from mainland China.

All of a sudden, I find my work schedule being thrown into a washing machine and set on a high spin mode. This was certainly unexpected two weeks ago...

Nonetheless, my more rationale side knows deep down that such arrangements are better than having to expose students (or anyone for that matter) to the dangers of contracting Coronavirus, or being stranded away from home. Plus, this whole situation was really no one's fault.

Star Wars composer, John Williams

This incident also reminds me of my brother's trip to Europe two years ago. He had heard then that the great composer, John Williams, would be conducting the London Symphony Orchestra at the Royal Albert Hall, so he not only booked tickets to the concert eight months in advance, but also centered his entire three-week Europe trip around the date of the concert. Alas, while he was making his trip to Sweden just a few days before the concert, he learned that John Williams had arrived in England but had taken ill and therefore, could not make it for the much-awaited event!

No doubt my brother and his friends were highly disappointed. My brother, for one, had travelled half way around the world just to fulfill his lifelong dream of seeing John Williams live. Even so, one of his friends pointed out that the musicians for the concert would have been even more devastated considering they were looking forward to have John Williams be their conductor!

All these go to show that no matter how careful we may plan ahead, things may not always go according to our plan.

Did you think Kobe Bryant had no plans for his daughter? Yet, both of them perished in the blink of an eye. The same is true of many who are affected by the Coronavirus.

Major changes can indeed occur in the blink of an eye.

Those who are cheeky will suggest, "Then don't blink." But we cannot help it because blinking is a part of our human process to "clear away dust particles and spread lubricating fluids across the eyeball" (Mauk, 2012).

Plans may get thwarted, but that also means we should never take situations or even people for granted. Family members and friends whom we have just met during the recent CNY gathering may not necessarily be there next year. The peace and comfort that we experience today may not stay for tomorrow. The stable economy that we live in now may not remain for long. Case in point, even as I am writing this, Air Asia shares are plunging in response to a bribery scandal which was unheard of just three days ago.

As such, let us cherish what we have today and make the best of what life offers tomorrow.

Have a great midweek and always stay positive!