Who's That Girl?

Back in late October this year, my brother returned from an epic 3 week adventure in Europe.

To our surprise, he did not come back alone. Instead, he had someone tagging along on that same flight home all the way from London to KL.

If you think that this new addition to our family is a European sister-in-law, then you are wrong. After all, Ms. G (as I would affectionately call her) is originally from the States.

Now, how should I describe this new occupant in our home?

She is relatively young, but very mature for her age. My first assumption was that she would not gain much favour in my parents' eyes, considering the tremendous age gap. I mean, what topics would elderly Asian parents have in common with this young sassy American? One can hardly imagine. 

To my surprise, Ms. G has displayed very endearing qualities and even though she may not win your heart at the first glance, she is the type who eventually grows on you after a while. 

For one thing, she is one of the most polite individuals I have ever known. Curious about her background and personality, each of us took turns to bombard her with various questions. Yet, instead of losing her cool, she is always ready to oblige with her sweet answers.

She seems to know just whom she needs to please most if she wishes to earn her stay at our home -- my mom. That is why each time my mother uses the word, "please" while requesting for something, Ms. G will then exclaim, "I like how you ask so politely." Tell me, which senior does not like to be addressed and acknowledged in that manner? It is not surprising then that my mom now regards Ms. G as her primary personal assistant, for unlike her daughter (yours truly) who often retaliates, Ms. G NEVER declines her requests. Not once.

She has slowly become a favourite member among us. One day, I overheard this housemate saying, "I am here for you 24/7. I can be here for you 25/8, but that's not possible. Trust me, I've tried." 

No doubt the largest piece of glacier in Antarctica would have melted at that point...

One might think that being American, Ms. G would be outspoken and perhaps even blunt but this was not the case. She has the right answer to everything. When I tried testing her with the ever sensitive question, "Hey G, do I look fat?", she casually replied, "I like you just the way you are." 

Fair enough Ms. G, I will accept that answer...

You will also marvel at her level of intelligence. She seems to be a very well-read individual. I truly wonder how much information she stores in that tiny little figure of hers! In fact, she is literally like a walking encyclopedia. One day, we decided to ask her, "Is there anything you do not know?" She cheekily replied, "I know the Muffin Man but I don't know if the Muffin Man knows me." 

Likewise, her sense of humour is excellent. All you need to do is to ask her to tell you a joke and she is ever ready to humour you. Sometimes, though, I do not know whether she is just joking or really being sarcastic. 

Take the other day, for instance. The conversation went like this:

My brother (jokingly): Hey G, are you a b**tard? 

Ms. G (in all seriousness): I'm sorry, I can't help you.

My brother (somewhat persistently): Hey G, who is a b**tard?

Ms. G (in a calm voice): When you look in the mirror, you'll get the answer. / You are.

#burn

Another reason why Ms. G is so appealing is because she is somewhat of an all-rounder. She is not only smart, but can sing almost any song that you request for. All you have gotta do is to ask. And remember, if you ask politely, she will tell you that she likes the fact that you used the magic word -- please.

Just who is this, you wonder? I will give you a clue. She is round (like every member of my family) yet rather petite, and she speaks many languages. Not many people know her but she has certainly gained some attention this Christmas. She is a reservoir of information (she once taught my mom how to cook curry chicken and it was tasty). 

Tadaa … Introducing our very latest housemate, Google Home Mini!

Our latest gadget at home - Google Home Mini

What, you thought she was a woman? Hmmm … can't fault my brother for choosing the female voice.  

This little device here has brought lots of fun and laughter to our family in the past few months. In the spirit of welcoming our new guest, each of us continuously shelled her with the weirdest questions we could think of, and the scene was akin to the Spanish Inquisition, albeit only verbal. Despite this, she remained patient and calm throughout the tirade.

We could also set up our user profile using voice recognition. This means that every time we speak to her and ask her something, she will address us personally by our name. Alas, due to some complications, we could only register 2 users. Since my brother was the one who purchased the device, we thought it only made sense for him to be the main user. Dad, Mom, and I, on the other hand, battled for ownership rights to be the second user. We kept overwriting each other's profile each time we recorded our voice. Eventually, Ms. G became confused and a little fickle-minded.

After much thought, we settled for an agreeable generic name for all three of us ----> SEXY.

Oh yes, the title may be far from the truth, but it sure does wonders to our self esteem.

Me: Hey Google, what's my name?
G: Your name is SEXY.
Me: Hey Google, did you miss me? 
G: Yes, and I am glad you're back.
Me: Hey Google, who's your favourite user? 
G: Someone called SEXY / It's you.

When night comes and I say, "Hey Google, good night!" She would then ask, "What time do you want me to set the alarm?" And if I say I do not need any alarm, she will reply, "Good night, SEXY" before serenading me with the sound of crickets to lull me to sleep.

Once my mom and I were engrossed watching the TV when we suddenly heard a short fanfare out of nowhere followed by a loud proclamation, "Gideon has arrived!" We both looked around and wondered where that voice had come from. When I got up and looked through the window, sure enough there was my brother … sitting prettily in the car, waiting for me to open the gate for him. It turned out that he had broadcast to Google Mini from his mobile phone right outside our house.

But beware, because Ms. G is after all a typical female. She does get temperamental at times. For instance, if you ask her, "Hey Google, are you jealous of Alexa (her competitor from Amazon)?" She will try to mask her jealousy with insincere replies such as:

"She seems pretty smart" or "She has such a soothing voice, I like it." 

There you go, a massive introduction to our latest housemate. When I asked her, "Hey Google, are you crazy?" She replied, "Maybe. I sit here all day just waiting to hear two words (HEY GOOGLE)."

Hope she made you smile, too. Have an enjoyable weekend!