The Rare 'F' Word

Superheroes in action

Within the span of less than a week, I have come across many extraordinary heroes on screen. If you think I am referring to superheroes like Superman, Spiderman, Batman, and Cicakman who grace the Hollywood and local movie screens, you could not be more wrong. I am referring to ORDINARY human beings who chose EXTRAORDINARY responses to completely UNFORESEEN circumstances. To borrow Robert Frost's famous line in The Road Not Taken, ... "and THAT has made all the difference".

You must have heard of the saying, "Life is 10 percent of what happens to you, and 90 percent of how you react to it."

 

I agree with this statement 100 percent.

 

By now, most Malaysians have already been acquainted with the infamous (albeit for all the wrong reasons), steering lock wielding woman. Though she may have earned an invitation to the studio of a national radio station, anyone with at least half a brain knows that she is NOT the hero in this case. The true hero, ironically, is the senior citizen who accidentally grazed this woman's car bumper.

 

You may ask, why would the 'perpetrator' be hailed as a hero? After all, he was in the wrong for bumping into the rear of her car. Unlike his counterpart, though, this senior citizen did not think with his rear. Knowing that it was his fault, he was willing to pay for the damages. On the other hand, the steering lock woman went on a rampage and started swinging the lock onto the old man's car. Although it is likely that her response might have been triggered by some personal reasons, her action was highly unjustifiable.

 

I am not too sure how I would have reacted if an uncivilized individual were to bash my car with a steering lock, but one thing is for sure, I would not have been able to remain as calm as the old uncle. He was still reasoning with her in a fatherly tone, despite her seemingly irrational outrage. I am ashamed to say that I would have snapped long time ago!

Nonetheless, something good did come out from the 'apology' aired on the radio station. The old man, who professes to be a Catholic, said that his religion teaches its followers to FORGIVE others and he also wants others to forget about this episode. The plan to sensationalize her on air backfired when the uncle was given a full one or two minutes opportunity to share his testimony to thousands (and maybe millions) of listeners without any restrictions from religious authorities. Not only did he not press charges on her, he even implored the public to cut her some slack. This is a whole new level of forgiveness many of us have yet to learn.

Just two days after this steering lock fiasco and barely 5 months after the loss of MH 370, the entire nation and in fact, the whole world was once again shocked by the news of another MAS plane that had failed to land. The wounds of those who had lost their loved ones in MH 370 have yet to heal, and here we are, faced with yet another catastrophe. It was certainly too much for the nation to bear, let alone individuals with relatives, loved ones, friends, classmates, colleagues, and acquaintances on board MH 17 that fateful day.

When I watched the interviews aired on television, though, I seem to notice a consistency in the response of the family members. While the whole world is busy speculating, protesting, and pointing fingers at various parties, these relatives merely request for the remains and personal effects of their loved ones to be returned to them as soon as possible.

Perhaps the truth has yet to sink in or perhaps they are temporarily void of emotions. But then again, perhaps they have surpassed us, accepted the reality, and made up their minds to move on. Whatever their reasons may be, it was heartrending to see hear them responding, "But what else can I do? What can I do?"

I recall seeing three siblings who had lost their parents onboard. During the interview, the brother, who was the spokesperson for both his sisters, could only wish that the war would end and there would be peace in that area. Could it be true? These three siblings had just been forced to become orphans and yet they can be concerned about the welfare of that state? Most of us would probably choose to be bitter, angry, and even vengeful. How many of us would be able to wish for something good to emerge out of the cold murder of our loved ones?

I guess the scene that moved me most was the reply of a woman whose brother had just texted her saying, "the next time you hear from me, it'll be from Bali". Little did she suspect that it would be the last text she would ever receive from her brother, for he never made it to Bali. He could not even make it to KLIA. Yet, she explains that even if someone were to drag the person responsible for the shooting right in front of her, nothing she does to that person would ever be able to bring her brother back to life.

I have to admit ... that is a valid point.

In a world where the word EQUALITY has gained such prominence, we have become more and more obsessed with the idea of JUSTICE and FAIRNESS. No one likes to be on the losing end. It has been said, 'an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.' These days, it is a case of 'if you hurt my eye, I will  hurt your eye AND your tooth!'

FORGIVENESS, therefore, is a rare quality today. There is, however, something we can all learn from these two incidents:

Sometimes, forgiving the person who has wronged us is the ONLY way to really move on in life.

The old man did not plan to hit into the younger woman's rear bumper; neither did family members expect MH 17 not to land as scheduled. Even so, their responses made a tremendous difference. Imagine if the old man had retaliated to the road bully's outrage by hitting back. The repercussions would have been even greater for BOTH parties. Likewise, no amount of hatred, finger-pointing, and compensation can ever bring back those who perished in MH 17.

Don't get me wrong: JUSTICE still has to prevail. No one has the right to take another person's life or to cause harm to that person. When we realize that we are not the rightful judge, we will know that JUSTICE and FORGIVENESS can co-exist in this world.

Personally, I find the act of FORGIVING as one of the toughest lessons in life. The world does not have much respect for the forgiving soul. In fact, the person who forgives is often regarded as a coward or an ignoramus.

I, however, choose to maintain this: we will never know how powerful forgiveness is until one day, we realize that WE have been forgiven.