From Panteen to Pureen: A Poor Peasant's Guide to Principles and Philosophies of Economics

You may have heard of the saying, "Less is More". There is certainly MORE truth to these three words.

When less is MORE

A best friend recently asked me, "How did you make the transition from full time employment to owning back your time?" I did not realise that with part-time employment (or freelancing) I am now, as she has said, finally "owning back" my time! What a wonderful perspective!

Of course I just had to pull her leg by putting on my poker face and quickly answering, "Oh, it wasn't a matter of choice. I just had a bl***y bad boss!"

Part-time vs Full-time

Truth be told, that was only part of the reason. I was also slowly discovering something more about my personality .... The more I age, the less submissive and docile I have become. In other words, full-time employment becomes challenging for me.

To cut the long story short, a former colleague learned that I had resigned and told me that his workplace was urgently looking for someone to take over an English class. It was just for one class but that was how I stumbled upon the wonderful world of part-time employment and I have really fallen in love with it ever since. The CEO from my previous workplace warned that working part-time could be addictive. I concur. In fact, I love it so much that I am pretty sure there will be a gargantuan struggle when and if, I ever return to full-time employment in future.

The main concern everyone usually has about part-time employment is the instability of one's income. I will insist on using the term part-time throughout this post because I feel there is no need to use freelance as a euphemism to hide the endless benefits from part-time employment. Let's face it, part-time employment is not so bad, after all. Gone were the days when every ancient Chinese family longed for their sons to pass the Imperial Examinations so that they could join civil service.

Chinese Imperial Exam

These days, if you play your cards right, part-timing can be a thriving business. While preparing for a Business English class one day, I came across another contemporary term - PORTFOLIO WORKER - and I thought to myself, "That's me!" In a sense, I have pretty much become my very own ... *gasp* BOSS!

But how do you deal with an unsteady income? You will surely survive if you follow this basic rule:-

Always cut your coat according to your cloth.

Nope, you do not need to be a tailor. You do not need to sew.

You just need an accurate measuring tape, excellent measuring skills, and a sharp pair of scissors.

Leave the sewing bit to God and His timing. The outcome? You will not only discover the path to contentment and happiness, but may also be rewarded with a surplus. Then you will have even MORE opportunities to master yet another lesson --- How to Give.

Here is what we need:

1) An Accurate Measuring Tape

An accurate measuring tape

Be honest. Don't kid yourself. Lay out the numbers bluntly as you would spread and smoothen a piece of fabric before measuring. Write down exactly how much you would earn that particular month. In my case, there may be month(s) when I have to trade in my income in exchange for an undisturbed semester break. In other words, there is no income at all.

Yet, there is no need to make excuses, either. When you have none, then you have none. It is much easier to make plans if you have digested that hard fact early on than to spend money you do not really have.

2) Excellent Measuring Skills

Now that you know roughly how much you have for that month, make a budget. I agree, some expenses are unavoidable. Well, pay those up first. For instance, you can't say NO to your house or car instalments. And unless you wish for your landlord to call the police over, you should also pay your house/room rental. If you happen to be staying with your family members, then your monthly contribution to the family is a must. There is no other way to walk around the house you live in with your head held high.

Nonetheless, if we are honest enough with ourselves, we will realise that there are certain things which we can do without, especially on months when our income is low or even nil. Some may beg to differ, but entertainment isn't essential. Go ahead and splurge if you have excess, but if you have none, then it is time to exercise some restraint. Only you alone will know what these non-essentials are. Nobody can tell you. 

3) A (Really) Sharp Pair of Scissors

Brutal.
Savage.
Cold turkey.

A really sharp pair of scissors

That is the attitude you should adopt as you take out the sharpest pair of scissors and start cutting the coat according to your cloth. Before you purchase anything, think twice. Yup, just thinking twice would suffice to make a whole lot of difference in our purchase decisions. You will be surprised how much your perspective changes on that second thought alone.

Even if you do not think of the money in your wallet, spare a thought for the environment. Have you ever bought something only to realise that it is inappropriate, inessential, or unsuitable? I sure have. Quite often too. For every item that remains unused, I need to reserve a space for it in my room. And since my room is not exactly the size of the American continent, I must be careful not to purchase things I would not use.

The less possessions you have, the less there is to lose

I think we can learn a lesson or two from the ancient Japanese. There is a very sound reason for their minimalistic lifestyle. Because Japan is a land that is prone to many natural disasters such as earthquakes, tsunamis, typhoons, and floods, its people tend to keep very few earthly belongings in their homes. When any catastrophe strikes, it would be easier for them to rebuild their lives. The more they have in their abode, the more destruction to pick up.

Another close friend of mine adopts a similar mentality. She is extremely disciplined when it comes to clearing out her unused items. Her logic? She is ever ready to leave her home with just two luggage in her hands. That is totally admirable! (I have yet to reach that level. If I have to bring all my things with me, I probably need an 18-wheeler semi trailer.) Yet another friend is a strong advocate for Marie Kondo's philosophy. Decluttering is the modern way to go.

There are days when one is tight with money. When that happens, start cutting. You can choose to eliminate certain expenses or to downgrade. Ah ... not the easiest lesson on earth, I must admit.

I took a 3-month unpaid leave while working full-time. The keyword? UNPAID. The first two months were alright. But by the end of the third month, I was tempted to unfix my fixed deposit account. The prospect of having to go back to work and to survive the fourth month without any pay until the 28th was extremely daunting. I felt really low as I stood in front of the shampoo aisle, staring at that bottle of Pantene which I wanted so much to purchase. Sure, it didn't cost much. But when you do not have much, NOT MUCH is A LOT.

Pantene

Pureen Family Shampoo

How did I reach the point where I needed to mull over a bottle of shampoo, not because of its suitability but because of its price? But I loved my fixed deposit too much to lose it over a bottle of shampoo, so after nursing my bruised ego, I walked slightly further down the aisle to grab a bottle of Pureen Family Shampoo (which was value for money). I learned a very important lesson that day:

         When you have to downgrade, you just downgrade. 

There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of when one downgrades his/her purchases. Yes, our ego may need to withstand a huge blow, but after that we move on. Even if we don't, life goes on (with or without us). As long as we have earned our money in a legal manner, then it matters not whether we live in a huge mansion or in a simple flat. Why live a miserable life paying off a Mercedes when you know you can live comfortably driving a Myvi or a Vios? Do you own the Mercedes or does the Mercedes own you?

I have discovered that Pureen works fine for me, just like Pantene. My hair is naturally frizzy and beyond repair anyway. These days, I can afford more than a bottle of Pantene, but why bother changing when Pureen works just as well? My hair still comes out clean.

Of course the Malaysian economy will suffer if everyone undertakes such frugal practices, but I believe we should always live within our means. That is the secret to contentment and happiness. Who are we trying to impress anyway? If there is someone which we need to impress, then that person is not worthy of our time.

My best friend and I then looked at many peers who struggle to keep up with the Joneses. Do we place our sense of worth in our possessions? Is it worthwhile struggling to pay off something which we were not meant to have in the first place? We should not limit our successes or our capability. But more importantly, we should measure OUR coat according to OUR cloth.

After all, WE are the ones wearing the coat, aren't we? 

Toilet Intolerance

This may come as a shock but once upon a time, I had dreams of becoming a missionary. I wanted to go to the remotest places on earth and "make disciples of ALL nations". I dreamt of going to the outskirts, the countryside, the rural areas ... in short, the land where no man (or woman) has ever been. Oh wait, perhaps the last expression was too exaggerated. But you get the idea ...

As a child, I had been greatly intrigued by the adventures of Indiana Jones. I would imagine myself walking in the tombs of ancient civilizations, crossing scorching deserts, or just living in a treehouse right in the middle of a dense, tropical forest.

If I did not have such a weak heart (and if I had been blessed with a more analytical brain), I would have probably studied medicine so that I could join the MSF (Medecins Sans Frontieres) i.e. Doctors Without Borders in Africa or Uruk, and perhaps even found my own Song Joong Ki in the process. =) 

When I enrolled in university, I chose to major in Anthropology and Sociology. I pictured myself doing fieldwork while living with people from various tribes and learning so much about their culture. Waking up to the chirping of birds and inhaling fresh air that is still moist with the morning dew as I step out of the bamboo house would be such an ideal way to start the day. Oh, what a satisfying and educational adventure my life would have been!

What was it then that made me choose to walk on such a different path today? You may not believe it, but it was (and still is) my lack of tolerance for toilets.

I have always been exceptionally particular about washrooms. As much as I try to be flexible in other areas of my life, I find it extremely difficult to compromise when it comes to this.

Before I proceed, here is a gentle disclaimer for the faint-hearted: There will be many vivid and grotesque images/references to the toilet. You are advised to stop reading at this point if you do not have a strong threshold for human excrement or anything alike.

What?!!! You still want to read on? Congratulations, you must have some guts! Either that, or you are just too curious for your own good ...

My high standards for the lavatory stemmed from 2 different experiences: a painful urinary tract infection in primary school and years of washing toilets throughout my secondary school days. I can still feel that terrible burning sensation which was the result of a urinary tract infection. For those of you who have been fortunate enough not to have experienced this at any point of your life, imagine yourself with a bursting bladder and yet not really daring to let go because whenever you do, there is an ever-ready lit up cigarette lighter to welcome you in the land down under. 

And oh yes, I am obsessed with toilet cleanliness partly because as secondary school students, all of us had to take turns to be on toilet cleaning duty. Whether you were the daughter of a king or a pauper, you were expected to wash the toilet specially assigned to your respective class. In pairs, we would scrub and clean, and pour lots of Dettol down the toilet bowl. (And we would even jealously guard and prevent anyone from using the clean toilets until the prefect has made her rounds.)

It is therefore natural then, for me to expect toilets to be clean. If I enter into a particular booth and it is dirty, I find myself unable to excrete no matter how hard I try. As a result, I have unintentionally compiled an extensive collection of both humorous and horrifying tales about toilets. Well, to be more specific, it is more about my personal paranoia of public toilets.

The toilet that I find most comfortable has to offer the perfect combo: a) it must be a squatting toilet, and b) it should have a bidet for the occupant to douche i.e. in Malaysian term, cebuk. What if it is one OR the other? Nah, I will try not to go. 

Oh yes, I know it is not good to hold your pee (and that you cannot really hold your poop no matter how hard you try), but if I can avoid using such toilets, I would. At almost all expense. I once held my pee for 11 hours while flying back from New Zealand. Of course that was when my bladder (not me, mind you) was way younger... My family members tried to trigger my curiousity by asking, "Aren't you the least bit curious to see the toilet in the airplane? It is not every day that you get to use such toilets, you know?" I was adamant then that I could go on living the rest of my life not knowing how the airplane toilet looked like.  

In yet another instance, my mother was shocked to find me coming home during midday when I had just started working at a college few kilometers away from my home. She thought something bad had happened at my workplace, and could not believe it when I told her that I had driven all the way back because I desperately needed to poo. I was willing to sacrifice my entire lunch hour just to travel back, poo, and return to office (all these without having my lunch that day). 

You think I am weird? I am sure you may have shared a similar experience, or at least know of someone else who does. When I mentioned this particular incident in office, my Head of Department then told us that he used to walk all the way back to his condominium during official working hours to do his number 2, too. Another friend shared that he had to cough up RM2 for the premier paid toilet at Level 1 of KLCC one day because his girlfriend needed to take a dump. Hey I am not such a limited edition, after all! 

Have I outgrown this habit after all these years? Sadly, no. I still uphold outrageously high standards for toilets. In fact, I have become so obsessed with it that toilet is one of my biggest deciding factors when it comes to choosing an accommodation or a place of work. After all, the toilet is my sanctuary! That is the only place where I can literally "go" in peace. And it is also the place where many shocking inspirations come from, such as this piece you are currently reading. 

When I was staying in a university dormitory and had to share the toilets with at least 24 other residents on the same floor, I used to get up before 6:00 AM to empty my bowels in peace. There were fewer people awake at that hour and I can take my own sweet time coaxing yesterday's digested food out of my system and into the pipes that carry them gently to Indah Water Theme Park. 

I think the landlady in two other places that I had rented loved me a lot too because as long as I was there, the toilets were comparatively clean. I would wash the toilet every Monday after spending the weekend at home. Where else do I seek refuge after a day of attending or conducting classes? 

Needless to say, toilet has also become a major concern whenever I travel. In particular, I will try my level best not to choose an accommodation that requires me to share toilets with strangers. Once again, I discovered that I am not alone. Just the other day, I overheard a DJ listing toilet as one of her priorities in choosing the perfect accommodation while travelling. Her logic? You will enjoy your trip better if you had successfully emptied your bowels and bladder in a comfortable toilet before starting your itinerary. There you go ... another woman after my own heart! 

The toilet at workplace should also be friendly. When I was working temporarily as a telemarketer while waiting for STPM results, I used to walk to the mall next door and pay either 30 sen or 50 sen just to use the toilet there. Today, I still walk over to the mall across the road to get to the toilet. I can even tell you which exact cubicle offers enough space for your laptop bag and which particular taps have higher water pressure than others. 

So there you go, a thoroughly written confession of my obsession with toilets. While this post may not necessarily be the most motivated way to begin the week, I maintain that a clean and comfortable toilet always gives one a good start. 

A last disclaimer: If you suddenly experience an urge to pee or poop after reading this, it is not my fault. All credit goes to your power of imagination. 

Adios! *flush*

Macau: Beyond the Gambling Den (Part 1)

The most popular way to visit Macau is to take a day trip via Hong Kong, but in my opinion, that may NOT be the wisest option.

Macau, the land that is often mistaken as nothing but a large gambling den has so much more to offer that a mere few hours would not do the place enough justice.

What is so special about Macau, you ask? Hmm ... the hotels, the food, and the scenery (both by day and by night).

Sofitel Macau at Ponte 16

My family and I decided to stay at Sofitel Macau at Ponte 16 throughout our 4D/3N trip to Macau in December 2016. In all my years of travelling, I would say this was the most luxurious hotel I have ever lived in.

For one, it is not on every trip that I get to stay in a hotel that comes equipped with a TV in the toilet!

Sofitel Macau at Ponte 16: See the flatscreen TV above the bath tub?

The beds were extremely comfy and high, and the room we stayed in overlooks the peninsular.

It is also not every day that I get to pamper and immerse myself in branded and expensive toiletries (L'Occitane), all thanks to the hotel.

L'Occitane toiletries courtesy of Sofitel Macau. Ignore the date. I finally took the photo months after the trip.

Guests of Sofitel get to choose between a view of the Macau Peninsular or the river. We chose the former which provided a side profile of the famous facade i.e. the ruins of St. Paul and the Guia Fortress. My uncle, on the other hand, spent his days gazing across the wide river, right from the toilet of his hotel room. =)

A view of Old Macau (as the peninsular is known) from Sofitel

Because it was near Christmas, the hotel was very beautifully decorated. It was too bad that our cameras could not fully capture the winter wonderland ambience of the lobby. These were the best shots I could take.

Sofitel Macau @ Christmas: Who else to oblige me as my favourite models but my parents?

As with many hotels in Macau, this hotel has its in-house casino, too. While I cannot comment on the gambling services, I can confidently say that the money changer provides good rates. Oh, and the casino brews very good chrysanthemum tea. So good, in fact, that we returned to the casino the following night just to drink its leong cha (herbal tea)!

The Nissan Legrand that took us all over Macau

I could go on and on describing the hotel, but Macau is not confined to Sofitel alone, so I will proceed to the next items on my list: PLACES TO VISIT and THINGS TO EAT.

It was the concierge at Sofitel that linked us to Mr. Elmar, a guide and chauffeur from the Philippines who took the 5 of us around in a Nissan Elgrand. We were charged by the hour and were able to plan our own route. In the end, we booked the MPV twice: once to experience Macau during the day, and the other to drink in the beauty of the lights at night. We had absolutely no regrets!

We covered the places mentioned in this particular blog entry within 4 hours. I will most likely post the night attractions in the next entry.

Lord Stow's Bakery in Taipa Village

A trip to Macau is not complete without a taste of its original Portuguese tarts. To be honest, I do not fancy egg tarts in general. And as a child, I despised it. For some strange reason, though, friends and family love buying me egg tarts and I do not have the heart to reject them... or their tarts, for the matter.

Having said all that, the tarts from Lord Stow's Bakery were heavenly. We went there on a random weekday morning, so there was no need to queue. The tarts were very fresh, not too sweet, and absolutely scrumptious! Yes, this is coming from someone who does not like egg tarts.

Epic Portuguese Tarts from Lord Stow's Bakery in Taipa Village

Warning:

Consuming ONE piece is never enough.

TWO is just right.

THREE would be an overdose.

You should taste it while it is still hot and fresh from the oven.

The Taipa Houses-Museum

Taipa Houses-Museum

Our next stop was at the Taipa Houses. One of us requested for a toilet break and the guide took us there. Unfortunately, I was blur enough to assume that it was a pure toilet break and did not even realise that the place was a tourist attraction ... Yes, I can be that clueless at times, especially when I am seated right at the back of the MPV and am oblivious to the conversation taking place in front.

Tai Lei Loi Kei:

A small, unassuming shop with delicious Pork Chop Buns

Tai Lei Loi Kei Pork Chop Bun

When my family invited my uncle to join us on a food trip to Macau, we were not kidding. Not long after we had the infamous Portuguese Tarts, we stopped by the roadside to get another signature delicacy from Taipa village - Tai Lei Loi Kei's Pork Chop Bun. We were still stuffed from the tarts, so we decided to pack some back to the hotel for lunch. It was tasty even though we only managed to consume it several hours later. You should not give this a miss as long as pork is part of your diet.

A-Ma Temple

This is often known as the gateway to Macau. History has it that this temple was built in honour of the goddess of seafarers, also known as A-ma. When the Portuguese first landed in that area, they asked the locals for the name of the place, to which the locals replied, "A-Ma Gao", which is literally translated to the "A-Ma district". The Portuguese then misunderstood and took on the name "ah ... Macao" and used it ever since. How absurd is that? =)

The first Koi Kei Bakery. Our experience was marred by just one particularly rude staff who was jealously guarding the samples and lacked basic manners.

The area surrounding A-Ma Temple

Macau Tower

Macau Tower

The Empire States Building, Eiffel Tower, Taipei 101, Burj Khalifa, and KLCC. Every destination has its iconic tower(s). Macau is not an exception. I was first introduced to Macau Tower when I watched a travel episode hosted by Janet Hsieh. The one thing that stood out then was its bungee jump. Imagine how thrilled I was when I was just in time to witness a live bungee jump right before my eyes!

The World's Highest Bungy at 233 meters

Penha Hill

If you are an avid TVB fan and have been following Ruco Chan's Burning Hands, you will certainly be thrilled to visit this next destination. Too bad we were there before the show was aired, so we had no clue that it was such a popular spot. At the top of the hill is a very photogenic church. And to top it off, we witnessed a couple posing for their wedding shots there.

A view of the garden and a couple taking wedding photos

Chapel of Our Lady of Penha and a view of the city from the top of Penha Hill

Guia Fortress

Guia Lighthouse

The night view of Macau peninsular as seen from the hotel room is surprisingly serene despite the numerous lights along the streets. One particular light in the distance shines the brightest and is active throughout the night, even when the entire city is fast asleep. It took us awhile to realise that the light was actually shining from the Guia Fortress / Lighthouse.

I am surely not the only soul who thinks that there is something unexplainably romantic about lighthouses. While it may seem somewhat redundant during the day, a lighthouse exudes its most spectacular charm against the sunset and the moonlight. I do not know if this lighthouse still offers guidance to travelers by air and by sea but I do know that it is lit up at night, and that the view from the lighthouse during the day is equally spectacular.

The view from Guia Lighthouse

The Ruins of St. Paul

If you missed this spot, you may as well say that you have never been to Macau before! It is indeed the most popular landmark of Macau.

The famous ruins stand majestically on top of the hill. Because of its popularity, you can expect the place to be crowded with tourists at any time of the day (or night). My parents had initially thought that they would have to forego the idea of visiting this great monument after looking at the number of steps but our guide (who was somewhat of a genius) took us on another route and dropped us off at the other side of the façade. In other words, we approached the ruins from the back instead of the front. (You can seriously consider this too if you are travelling with the elderly or friends with less mobility.) Of course it would have been more impressive for the sight of the ruins to greet you as you climb up from Senado Square, but coming from the back provides a rather different and interesting perspective too.

Ruins of St. Paul: Don't worry about photobombing. You won't be able to avoid it.

The structure had two enormous entrances: one for the church, and the other for the college before the building burnt down in 1835. All that is left today is the façade. If you think it looks impressive on TV, you will be in awe as you stand right in front of its gates.

I am both a Christian and a lecturer, so I tried imagining going to church and to work through its large doors. I cannot even begin to describe how it felt. We returned to the ruins one of the nights and even though the lighting almost made it look like the perfect venue for a horror movie, the place still left us in awe. As we sat for a long while right in front of its gates, we felt as if we were transported to a few hundred years back in time. The wind was soothing and we could have sat there the whole night long.

The Ruins of St. Paul at night

Senado Square

After more than 3 hours of travelling in and out of the MPV in the midday sun, we were exhausted but there was one last stop to make before we headed back to the hotel: Senado Square. This is where all the activity is. There were many shops and stalls selling practically everything, from branded apparels, health and beauty products, to all kinds of food. Because it was close to Christmas, the square was fully decorated with Christmas ornaments.

                                   

Dear couple, I am sorry for taking your photo but it was actually the Christmas deco that I was after ...

More photobombing

We returned to the same place later that night just to see how it would look then. The crowd was smaller at night (perhaps because most visitors prefer to go to the casinos at night) and in its own way, it was nicer to walk around. The sun was no longer scorching hot, and the air was cool. There were fewer vehicles around too, which makes the entire place feel more like a friendly, little pasar malam (night market).

St. Dominic's Church - by day and by night

A nativity scene that was put up close to Christmas

Do not underestimate this quiet lane at night. During the day, it is actually crowded with people and filled with the aroma of curry fish balls.

We were relieved to return to the hotel after visiting Senado Square. We did not think that we would have been able to cover that many areas, considering that my parents could neither walk too far nor too long. Travelling in the MPV (and with a guide) was indeed a blessing!

What about the casinos and all the night lights? Oh yes, we managed to cover those too but it'll probably take another few months before I am done with my blogging...

All in all, this was certainly NOT the Macau I had expected. Like most people, I had assumed it was a place only for gamblers. I am just glad that we had a chance to explore this place that is so often misunderstood.

Confessions of a Confuscina

Have you ever pictured Bananas in Pajamas trying to quote Confucius?

When Bananas in Pajamas meet Confucius down the stairs

That must have been the torturous sight my World Literature students had to endure during a session on the famous and influential Chinese scholar, Kong Fuzi a.k.a Confucius ...

Yellow on the outside, and white on the inside

Having zero exposure to Chinese education and clutching desperately onto my 2% command of Mandarin, I trudged through the 200 translated quotes and picked out only the ones that made sense to the banana (the non Chinese-speaking Chinese). Or at least the ones that the pisang (banana) could goreng (literally, fry but in our Malaysian term -- fabricate).

Slanted eyes, flat nose, and yellow skin - I seem to have the entire package that makes me a Chinese. But the moment I open my mouth and start stuttering in Mandarin, or even Cantonese, you will just attribute my jaundiced skin to the banana family.

Language is a struggle, but more so is the culture and the mindset.

I have received ang pows and played with fireworks without knowing its significance. While I am able to name the varieties of mooncake flavours available in the market, I do not know the actual story behind the celebration. In the same manner, I enjoy eating a good dumpling (any time of the year, actually) without figuring out its origins. In my opinion, the taste takes precedence over its history.

Ah, I have to confess: I am already drooling.

My obsession for food clearly proves that despite the disclaimers above, I am still a Chinese. =)

It was a pity that my Chinese obsession with food and TVB series/Cantopop could not prepare me for a complete 3 hour lecture on Confucius. The task became doubly daunting when I realized that most students in class had probably spent more time and were much more acquainted to that confused, old uncle (i.e. Confucius) than I ever was. Those who had attended Chinese schools would have been immersed in his ideologies.

But what do lecturers do best? They ACT. They act like they know it. And sometimes, when they act well enough, they begin to convince others that they know their stuff. Yup, even when they ACTually don't. And when they can't convince the students, they start to CONFUSE them. As students, you must have experienced one or more of these confusing episodes. Perhaps even in every class that you have attended. As lecturers, you must have been guilty of executing this at least once, if not all the time.

As I was struggling to prepare for class, I came across one of the most meaningful quotes from Uncle Confucius himself:

"There are, are there not, young plants that fail to produce blossoms, and blossoms that fail to produce fruit?"

"How very true!" I thought.

Assuming that the picture below depicts the natural lifecycle of a plant, the seed first grows into a young plant, which then blossoms, and finally bears fruits.

There is, however, one problem with this cycle and one does not have to be a farmer to recognize it. While this is the norm, or how you think it should be, there is a possibility that it MAY NOT be.

One thing may NOT necessarily lead to another.

Just because the seed grows into a seedling, it does not mean that it will definitely continue growing into a young tree. And when the tree starts to blossom, it is natural for the farmer to get excited. But then again, there are trees that have blossoms and yet not bear a single fruit. Not even after you have waited much longer than you should.

Nothing in life is guaranteed. Nothing is considered a natural progression.

I find this Confucius quote extremely relevant as we celebrate Chinese New Year. This is supposed to be the season that brings friends and relatives together. Very often, though, in an attempt to either initiate a polite conversation or to genuinely catch up with one another, we frequently rush in and ask the wrong questions:

"Didi/Meimei, you are about the same height as you were last year. Aren't you supposed to grow taller this year?"

"What did you get for UPSR last year? Why didn't you score straight As? You did very well for your trial exam, didn't you?"

"What do you plan to do after SPM? Your sister/brother is studying medicine. And both your parents are doctors. Why didn't you enroll in a medical course, too?"

"People usually take three years to complete their degree. Why are you taking much longer than that?"

"You have been working so hard. And your company is doing very well. What do you mean you do not have bonus this year?"

"You have been working there for years. Why are you not promoted? Why is your salary lower than XXX's son/daughter who has just started working?"

"You are a good boy/girl. Why do you still not have a girlfriend or a boyfriend? What's wrong with you?"

"You have been going out with this guy/girl for years. What are you waiting for? Why are you not married yet?"

"You have been married for sometime. Why still no kids, ah? Got see doctor or not?"

"Your eldest child is already X years old, when is the next one coming?"

And the list goes on and on ... (just like Celine Dion's heart in the soundtrack of Titanic).

Well, let this Confucius-wanna-be tell you this:

Just because a kid does well for trial exam, it does not mean that same kid will perform very well for the actual exam. Just because someone comes from a family of doctors/lawyers/engineers/comedians, it does not mean that he/she should follow the same course. Even if the company does very well, who are we as workers to dictate anything regarding bonus? Likewise, which workers get to reward themselves for their hardwork?

Just because a person has good attributes, it does not mean he/she will be rewarded with the sweetest, drop-dead gorgeous girlfriend/boyfriend. If a couple decides not to get married after dating for donkey years, who are we to butt in? And if they do not have any children yet, it could be their choice or they may be quietly struggling and trying for one, all without our knowledge. Unless we intend to donate our sperm or ovum, I suggest that we do not pry too much into other people's affairs.

So as we sit at the table for yet another round of reunion dinner/lunch this year, let us take a good look at the people around us. See them for whom they really are, and not for what they have achieved thus far.

Just because something may have seemed like a natural progression for them last year, circumstances may have stopped them from actually getting there. It is not right to impose any pressure on them. Instead, sit back and appreciate everyone who is there with us, for we may not know which of these faces may no longer be around next year: some may be joining the reunion dinner at their in-law's place, some may be at work, some may be abroad, and then there are some whom we may just never get to see anymore.

Because nothing is a natural progression, we should not take what we now have for granted.

Happy Chinese New Year and best wishes from the Confuscina a.k.a. the female Confucius or just the very Confused Cina (Chinese).