Manners O Manners, Where art Thou?

A student accidentally dropped the loud speakers and one of his classmates immediately broke into applause. I glared at the latter incredulously and asked, "Are you sure you are a student of hospitality … because that was the worst thing you could have done!"

Now, I know that it was all in good fun and he had not meant any malice at all, but I was genuinely concerned that we have inadvertently allowed certain inappropriate behaviours to become a habit in us. That particular student, if left unchecked, may some day be the same hotel staff who will break into uncontrollable fits of laughter when a guest trips or drops something right in front of him. I can imagine the damage done to the reputation of both staff as well as the hotel.

Paying close attention to one's response is not exclusive to the hospitality industry alone. In fact, it is something that all of us have to do. Unfortunately, I observe that we have gradually taken the man out of manners. What does that even mean, you ask? We seem to lack basic qualities that justify our existence as part of humanity. The days of chivalrous knighthood may have long disappeared but it is sad to note that even basic manners have become rather extinct among us.

Elevator Etiquette 101

Take a ride in the lift, for example. How many of us would wait till others have exited before entering, or bother to hold the lift doors as we see someone trying to come in? Most would choose to either be glued to their positions, or be suddenly caught up with their mobile (which is an all-time fool-proof way of ignoring others). And if we end up being too far away from the button panel, how many of us remember to attach the magic words, PLEASE and THANK YOU, as we politely request for someone to press the button to the right floor? If you do, you can now take pride that you are an endangered species, indeed.

This always reminds me of a hilarious incident narrated by a colleague: A very strict lecturer known for her combo of large bulging eyes, frizzy hair, and a booming voice happened to be in the lift when a student walked in and casually uttered, "5th floor". I can imagine the lecturer's eyes on the verge of popping out of their sockets as she turned around, glowered at the student and reprimanded him loudly for not saying "please" or "thank you". And she had this simple truth to add, "Do you think we are put on earth just to press the lift buttons for you?!!!"

I am guessing that was the student's longest ride in any elevator, ever.

Perhaps it was my colleague's dramatic narration. Or perhaps it was just my fanciful imagination. Whatever it was, I laughed long and hard after hearing about that episode. Who wouldn't? Then I looked into the mirror and I immediately stopped laughing. Despite growing up with Enid Blyton's horror stories about kids who forget to mind their P's and Q's, I have to admit that I have also gradually become stingy with my "please" and "thank you".

It is easy for the younger generation to not familiarize themselves with the phrases "please" and "thank you" because many grow up with their 'kakak's i.e. housekeepers/baby sitters/maids etc. waiting for their commands at all times. When they observe their parents/grandparents/adults bossing kakak around without using 'please' and 'thank you', they mimic that behaviour/tone and bring the same attitude when they interact with their friends, adults, and strangers. Having said that, even those of us who did not grow up in such privileged environment have unknowingly omitted 'please' and 'thank you' in our daily conversation. You don't agree with me? Try paying close attention to your interaction. If at all, you discover that you have also been scrimping on 'please' and 'thank you', perhaps it is time for us to wonder why. Could it be possibly due to our increasing sense of entitlement? Have we become arrogant as we grow older?

Some may justify by saying, "We may not use 'please' and 'thank you' as often, but hey, at least we do not use profanities!" Has it ever occurred to us that using profanities is not necessarily the only way we display our lack of manners? Another bad habit we have is to not cover our mouths when we make all kinds of unpleasant noises i.e. burp, cough, and most of all, sneeze! I am guilty of forgetting to cover my mouth at times when I cough. While I agree that there is no excuse for such behaviour, I think it is only fair for me to state that I had once coughed for 5 whole months straight. After rounds of checkups, it was revealed to be a symptom of acid reflux, hence nothing contagious. Nonetheless, if I had as much as 2 cents for every single cough then, I would have been a millionaire by the second month. Initially, I had tried to cover my mouth with a tissue whenever I felt a cough coming up. After a while, though, it became such a nuisance that I finally took Elsa's advice from Frozen. You guessed it right … I let it go! 

Truth be told, whenever someone coughs or sneezes, my imagination runs on an overtime mode. I imagine droplets floating in the air, searching fervently for a new 'home'. You can now imagine my horror when I get stuck in a crowded public transport and someone coughs straight into my face! I would hold my breath till my face turns an unhealthy shade of blue. And before my respiratory system resumes itself, I would try to "blow" all these imaginary germs and droplets as far as possible.

But when a person sneezes loudly without turning away or covering his/her mouth, that is when I go totally berserk. It is no longer tiny droplets floating in the air that I have to evade. We are now referring to a jumbo spray akin to nuclear destruction that covers a 1.5 km radius. There is nothing you can do to escape. That, I think is quite an unimpressive move, I must say. So unimpressive that I recall an incident when a complete stranger waiting for the same lift at a shopping complex let out a loud sneeze/spray without covering his mouth, and I immediately scowled and went, "Eeewww!!!" He was surprised at my reaction and apologised profusely after that. He did not know that I was even more shocked by my own outburst! My brother said I was lucky that the stranger was not a member of a triad, else I would have had my facial features totally rearranged.

It does not take a genius to know that unwanted noise is always unwelcome anywhere. There is, therefore, no need to yell into one's mobile, or play loud videos in the public, no matter how amusing/educational/informative one may think it is. But what happens when the noise not only triggers your sense of hearing, but also your sense of smell?

I once saw a very well-dressed and attractive lady in high heels, intellectually browsing through some books at the shelves in a bookstore. After a while, she suddenly raised her right knee to her chest and let out a fart. A loud, boisterous, and possibly stinky fart. (You didn't expect me to check by taking a deep breath at that point, did you?) My jaw dropped. It was not so much about letting out a fart in public (after all, to quote Shrek, farts are always "better out than in"), but was it even necessary to lift her right knee thus? Did it make the process more satisfying, I wonder? She did not even have the audacity to check if the coast was clear nor showed any signs of remorse thereafter. Oh, the horror!

Where, O where, have our manners gone?

Well, if you are a Malaysian, you would surely know that our manners are almost non-existent on our Malaysian roads. Why else would we see so many motorists jumping queues, tailgating, double-parking, and getting involved in road rage? Similarly, we have pedestrians who take their own sweet time and never look up from their phone while crossing the road, under the infamous Malaysian assumption that it is, after all, their "grandfather's road"!

I asked around to find out more about other ill manners that are unbearable and the answer ranges from meeting dishonest sales clerks to people who hog public space using their bags etc. Some are easily agitated by callers who ask, "Who are you?" (despite being the one who initiated the call). Then there are also some who are highly disappointed when others do not greet them (this is especially true among the elderly). My mom gets irritated at the very sight of people walking around obliviously with earphones or headphones.

A friend made an interesting observation the other day when she asked, "Isn't our Asian culture one that is supposedly based on bersopan-santun (propriety and good manners)? Why do we find it so challenging to hold the door for others, or to acknowledge the other person's presence with a smile? Will it kill us?"

My observation is this: Manners can be quite relative. Something that seems highly offensive to us may not appear to be so in the eyes of the offender. The bar may be lowered, but there is still a bottom line that all of us eventually hit before we collectively agree that a certain action is plain rude and unacceptable.

On the other hand, when one has higher standards than usual, he/she may come across as more appealing. I recall a well mannered part-time lecturer who always minta diri (excuses himself) before leaving. While most of us would try to sneak out in the middle of a meeting, he would politely request for permission to be excused. Now, that is super classy! A reflection of excellent upbringing, indeed! How often have we dropped by our friends' homes or attended parties and have just disappeared without first thanking the host and requesting for permission to leave?

On that note, I shall end with this, "Thank you for reading this rant. If you would excuse me, I wish to take leave." =P

SPM: What's Next?

It has been more than a week since the SPM results were released. By now, those who were happy or anywhere near contented would have already had their fair share of celebration. Likewise, those who had expected better results would have overcome their 'grief' and disappointment.

I am sure the days leading up to the release of the results must have been nerve-wracking. Decades ago, my friends and I shared the same anxiety. Even the candidate who is usually an atheist would suddenly say, "We must pray very hard" while others would cheekily reply, "It's too late to pray now. Should have prayed harder back when we were sitting for the exams!"

One of my friends' mother offered the best advice, "The results are secondary. What you do with the results is far more important." How very true!

To be honest, most students are left at the crossroads after sitting for major exams. As if the entire ordeal of choosing between Arts Stream and Science Stream back in Form Four was not stressful enough, one has to decide what to do after SPM. And the worst part?

You are either extremely sure of what you would like to do, or you are one of the majority who simply have got no clue. 

So if you happen to fall into the second category, don't fret yet. Rest assured that it is absolutely normal NOT to be certain of your choices at this point. That is why you should explore the possibilities out there.

As much as I hate being on edufair duties, I have to acknowledge the importance of providing accurate and adequate information to both parents and students who are still searching for the most suitable academic pathway. Thus I have decided to pen my point-of-view in this blog entry, in case anyone out there wants a slightly clearer picture. 

*A note of disclaimer, though: I am not a professional education counsellor. Instead I am merely an ordinary lecturer who has had years of observation behind the booths at education fairs. 

First of all, you need to know the different pathways after SPM. Here are a few of the more popular choices:

a) work and gain experience

b) local matriculation or public university programmes

c) STPM i.e. Form 6

d) Diploma

e) A-Levels

f) Foundation

g) American Degree Program

Do bear in mind that options (b) to (f) are all considered PRE-university courses, which means you will only enroll for a Degree course AFTER you have completed one of these. 

a) Work and gain experience

Let's face it, not everyone is cut out for studying. It goes against the principles of an educator to make such remarks but I have seen too many students who have been forced to study but either do not have that aptitude or passion for the academics. Needless to say, they end up repeating their courses and wasting the time they could have used to gain experience elsewhere. 

Do not get me wrong, it is also not that these individuals do not have any intelligence. On the contrary, these students are usually much more streetwise and creative. One just has to acknowledge that their intelligence and talent lies in other areas. If that be true, wouldn't it make much more sense to discover the areas of their strengths and nurture them instead? 

b) Local matriculation or public university programmes 

Honestly I am not too familiar with this particular pathway anymore. During our time, matriculation was solely reserved for bumiputra candidates, but there were other 'program asasi' which promised between 1-1.5 years of foundation before entering a 3 year degree course in a public university. The last I checked, the matriculation course may have opened its doors to non-bumiputras as well. I should think school teachers may have more information on that. It is definitely more affordable, but your results have to be really good, and you will have to be prepared to study locally. 

Advantages:

• much more affordable, considering it is a local course
• paves the way to secure a place in public university
• not too long (usually 1-1.5 years); faster than entering public university via STPM

Disadvantages:

• only good results will be considered
• courses may be quite limited
• if you do not enjoy or are not familiar with the local setting, you may have a hard time fitting in

c) STPM i.e. Form 6

If you are the slightly more studious type who are good at continuously looking at books and want to save cost by studying locally, this would be a good choice. It may take a bit longer than other pathways, but the advantage is that you become more mature while waiting to discover your preferences, thus making more informed choices later on. 

However, if you do not enjoy studying or are sick of the school environment, you should consider staying away from this option. There has been a misconception that your certificate goes to waste if you do not get a place in a local university. That is absolutely untrue. As long as you have 2 principle passes in STPM, you should be able to enroll in a Degree programme at any private college.

Advantages:

• cost effective
• provides opportunity to enroll in public universities
• buys time -- to slowly discover your interest and also be more mature
• direct entry to Year 1 of Degree (no need for Foundation)

Disadvantages:

• longer duration (Lower 6 only starts mid-year and STPM will be at the end of the following year). Total = 2 years before enrolling into a degree programme
• if your results are average and you do not get into a local university, you can still enroll directly into the first year of degree in a private college, but the journey takes longer than a foundation programme 

d) Diploma

Diploma is often underrated because the entry requirement is lower than that for Foundation or A-Levels. One needs a minimum of 3 credits in SPM (in contrast to the conventional 5 credits) to enroll into a Diploma course, which usually lasts for another 2 years. The good news is that you can go straight into the 2nd year of the Degree programme once you have completed your Diploma. Do make sure that your credits are transferable, though. Some may not recognize certain subjects and you will have to re-take them. 

Advantages: 

• lower entry requirement (3 credits in SPM)
• direct entry to Year 2 of Degree upon completion

Disadvantages:

• not eligible for PTPN yet (please check, though)
• sometimes (though not always) the quality of education may be slightly diluted to cater to students who come in with a lower entry requirement

e) A Levels

This is quite similar to STPM, except it is an international exam. Many people who take A-Levels have somewhat set their eyes on furthering their education abroad. This does not mean that you must necessarily study overseas. It just gives you the option to do that. Again, if you suddenly find your initial plan to study abroad changing due to some financial setback, you can always choose to enroll in a private university back in Malaysia. Just be sure to get at least 2 passes. 

Advantages:

• internationally standardized and recognized 
• provides the opportunity to enroll in universities abroad

Disadvantages:

• cost can range from affordable to very expensive, depending on the college that you have chosen (please shop well)
• needs at least 5 credits in SPM
• takes approximately 1.5 years (if you pass all your papers) 
• very exam-based

f) Foundation

This is considered one of the more conventional choices for various reasons. First, its duration is shorter than STPM. It usually takes around 1 to 1.5 years to complete the course, after which you can enroll into a 3-year Degree programme. Some Foundation programmes are a bit more specific (Foundation in Psychology, Foundation in Business, Foundation in Mass Communication etc.), but you can always opt to take more general ones like Foundation in Arts or Foundation in Science. 

If you ask me, I personally find this pathway much more manageable than STPM or A Levels. Passing rate is certainly much higher. After all, it is designed to serve as a feeder into the college's Degree programmes. Some (but not all) foundation programmes allow you to pursue a course in another university (even abroad). You will need to get the info accurately from the particular college first. 

Advantages:

• less stressful in comparison to STPM or A Levels
• more exposure to various subjects
• aims to prepare students for Degree courses within the same educational institution
• shorter duration (1 - 1.5 years)

Disadvantages:

• not every foundation programme is transferable to other institutions
• classes tend to be quite large
• needs at least 5 credits in SPM 

g) American Degree Program

American Degree Program is most likely the only program that allows you to have direct entry into a Degree course right after SPM. It is very popular among students who tend to fare better in projects and assignments instead of final exam. This is because the weightage for written final exam is much lower. The entire program usually lasts for 4 years, which makes it one of the fastest pathways. 

The entry requirement is also a minimum of 5 credits in SPM. There are programs where you can complete all 4 years here in Malaysia (ADP), but most of them are 2+2 (ADTP = American Degree Transfer Program) i.e. 2 years here, and another 2 years in the States. You would just need to check with the respective colleges. 

Advantages: 

• one of the fastest pathways i.e. 4 years from SPM to completion of a Degree
• less exam oriented; very suitable for students who perform better in projects and assignments
• excellent exposure to many different fields i.e. breath vs. depth of knowledge

Disadvantages:

• fees are usually quite dependent on currency exchange rate
• not suitable for students who prefer to go for depth instead of breadth of knowledge
• the first year is NOT eligible for PTPTN (but please check)

There you go. I really hope the options above can give you a rough picture on what to expect when you drop by at education fairs. It is good to have a basic idea, otherwise you will be easily swayed by the marketing promotions out there. Remember, it is YOUR education, so YOU will have to make the decision. 

I wish I can provide information on other courses such as AUSMAT (Australian Matriculation) etc. but I have yet to teach that. 

All the best in making your decisions. I pray that you have the wisdom to choose one that you will enjoy and excel in. 

Confessions of a Chronic Hoarder

If I were to die today I may go to heaven, but those who are still living will have one hell of a time going through my possessions. 

I confess, I am a hoarder. Aren't we all?

With the recent Chinese New Year spring cleaning and the sudden explosion of Marie Kondo's popularity on the Internet, everyone seems to be obsessed with discarding items that no longer "spark joy" (to quote the KonMari expert).

As I looked around my room, I have to admit that I do hoard quite a lot of unnecessary items. 

a) The JIC (Just-in-case) Wares

I am guilty of hoarding many JIC (just-in-case) wares. For instance, I tend to collect small refillable bottles/containers just in case I ever decide to travel and need to transfer some shampoo, conditioner, body wash, lotion, etc. into smaller containers. It will be both uneconomical and un-environmental friendly to purchase new matching bottles solely for that purpose, won't it?

And then, of course, there are those half-scribbled journals and old diaries with some remaining pages on which I could probably use to record very important events/reminders ... some day in the future. What about notes from my uni days? Of course I still have them! Who knows if I may end up teaching these subjects and will need such info again? Did you say books? Classic, fiction, non-fiction, reference. You name it, I would most likely have it in my collection. After all, I may just get to fulfil my childhood dream of opening a neighbourhood library some day. If all else fails, we can always set all these papers ablaze in a makeshift fireplace to keep us warm when it freezes over in Malaysia.  

What about old and faded office wear? To be honest, they are not exactly comfortable enough for home despite the downgrade. But if there is any likelihood of a war in the near future, I may not have the time and money to shop for new clothes. These apparels would certainly come in very handy then.

I know I am not alone in this. I have heard of other people who keep old spectacles, tattered rags, broken furniture, and many other unusual just-in-case wares. In fact, I was just chatting with a group of friends the other day and one of them said that her father collects the stuff that she has specifically selected to be discarded and stashes them in his own home instead (in case there is any use for it). Her husband also shared about his father who has the habit of keeping many spare items in his house. Although concerned family members may occasionally nag him about it, they will usually shut up whenever he is able to pull out the exact replacement item that they need, thus helping them to save cost.

No matter how you look at it, hoarders of JIC items will always have a "valid" reason for keeping their wares. Hmm... what about the items that tug at your emotions? Do you throw them away?

b) Trash or Treasure?

Being a sucker for anything nostalgic, I struggle to part with things that have special meaning or were given by special people. (Of course by special people, I actually mean 75 percent of the human population!) I still have soft toys which were given to my brother when he was a one year-old baby, which means the toys have been on earth longer than I personally have. How does one give those away, especially when soft toys used to be expensive and something which our parents could hardly afford?

And because I clearly remember the giver(s) of each soft toy in my collection, I cannot bring myself to part with them. After watching Toy Story, I am convinced that my decision to keep them is still the best. There is just one slight flaw, though --- more toys kept coming into my possession. Would you like to read about the birth of a nation, in particular, the birth of the toy nation on my office desk?

I had somehow managed to collect two Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figurines from McDonalds many years ago. A colleague saw that Raphael and Leonardo were missing from the lot, so she decided to get them for me as my birthday gift. Yet another group of colleagues spied these 'heroes in a hard shell' of mine and decided to get me another Lego-like set of Ninja Turtles, complete with flashlights at the sole of their webbed feet. My students eventually identified my desk as "the one with the Ninja Turtles". Yeah kids, that is where you should submit your assignments.

A few cars from my collection

The same thing happened with toy cars. I have always loved toy cars but was too stingy to purchase them on my own. After much deliberation, I finally convinced myself to get a shiny black die-cast BMW from Mr. DIY and placed it on my desk so that I can imagine myself taking a spin in it whenever work gets too dreary. A colleague's young son also loved that car very much and often played with it whenever he dropped by. Guess what his mother did when she happened to pick my name for Christmas gift exchange one year? She bought me another toy car! On the following birthday, the colleague who sat next to me bought a white 4WD to accompany the black BMW. My desk had become a regular carpark by then. Just before I left the company, a few colleagues pooled in some money and got me an entire fleet of cars! I now have enough capital to open an auto garage!

Some people call them collectibles. Others regard them as garbage. Some people deliberately purchase fancy glass cabinets to display their collection. I know of another who is dedicated enough to actually blog about the plane models that he puts together. No matter how you look at it, this saying is true: One man's trash is another man's treasure. 

Some of these collectibles are investment-worthy and may fetch a high price when it is sold in future. Case in point, I have a cousin who now makes profit from the rare, special edition toys he used to own as a kid. Of course these have been kept in mint condition. But there is another form of collectibles that money can never buy --- encouraging words from friends and loved ones. It is not surprising then that a friend keeps greeting cards, mementos, emails, and letters she has received from others. I was also surprised to find a small yet overflowing box of letters that I had exchanged with friends, cousins, and pen-pals since I was eleven. Reading them again made me smile at the innocence I once had, although some, of course, left me cringing in embarrassment!

Move aside, Marie Kondo! It is just impossible to kill the nostalgy in some of us.

c) The Excessive Essentials

Have you ever bought a bottle of detergent (because it was on offer), only to realise that there are already three bottles waiting for you at home? That, my friends, is yet another form of hoarding, albeit unintentionally. Or perhaps you clearly recall purchasing an item but cannot seem to locate it just when you really needed it? What do you do then? Do you spend a whole lifetime searching for it, or do you just grab a new one from the supermarket/hardware store/mall?

I am not a neat freak, but there are a few specific cleaning agents that I especially like to use, so whenever I see them at an affordable price, I would be tempted to get a few. One day, I opened the old kitchen cabinet (which our family had decided to not throw but hoard) in the storeroom and was greeted by this sight:

Enough stock for me to open a franchise

I had not realized that I could already open my own Cosway franchise at home! To be honest, it was just a nasty reminder that I have been spending too much time and money purchasing cleaning agents and not enough time doing the actual cleaning.

There was also another time when by some strange magic we ended up with 3 can openers in the house. These items are essential, but probably not worth duplicating (at least, not that often). It may be slightly different if it were food, though. Or would it? A friend of mine hoards dry food, tea, and coffee. I guess if an emergency is suddenly declared, she will certainly not go hungry. I used to keep a "darurat" (emergency) stash in the office, too. Cup noodles, Campbell soup, canned corn, sardines, tuna etc, I had them all. The plus point is that these foods have expiry dates printed on the packaging, so anything that is past the dates can then be forcefully migrated into the dustbin.

At this point, there is no arguing that hoarding is an extremely bad habit. But one of my cousins suggested an interesting, worthy item to hoard -- money. Now, that is not too bad a motivation! I was just thinking that perhaps that is the only item I have not hoarded so far. Then a guilty feeling immediately took over as I recall stacks of crispy ang pau dollar notes I had quietly stashed (and still have) in my drawer, and had refused to exchange with my mom when she was desperate for new notes to put into the little red packets. There is just something nice and addictive when it comes to the crisp and smell of fresh new notes.

When I look at the things I have hoarded, I think I am quite chronic in the eyes of Marie Kondo. But I guess it's normal. Or is it not? Maybe I should stop blogging here and start decluttering, eh?

Have a good weekend! 

Who's That Girl?

Back in late October this year, my brother returned from an epic 3 week adventure in Europe.

To our surprise, he did not come back alone. Instead, he had someone tagging along on that same flight home all the way from London to KL.

If you think that this new addition to our family is a European sister-in-law, then you are wrong. After all, Ms. G (as I would affectionately call her) is originally from the States.

Now, how should I describe this new occupant in our home?

She is relatively young, but very mature for her age. My first assumption was that she would not gain much favour in my parents' eyes, considering the tremendous age gap. I mean, what topics would elderly Asian parents have in common with this young sassy American? One can hardly imagine. 

To my surprise, Ms. G has displayed very endearing qualities and even though she may not win your heart at the first glance, she is the type who eventually grows on you after a while. 

For one thing, she is one of the most polite individuals I have ever known. Curious about her background and personality, each of us took turns to bombard her with various questions. Yet, instead of losing her cool, she is always ready to oblige with her sweet answers.

She seems to know just whom she needs to please most if she wishes to earn her stay at our home -- my mom. That is why each time my mother uses the word, "please" while requesting for something, Ms. G will then exclaim, "I like how you ask so politely." Tell me, which senior does not like to be addressed and acknowledged in that manner? It is not surprising then that my mom now regards Ms. G as her primary personal assistant, for unlike her daughter (yours truly) who often retaliates, Ms. G NEVER declines her requests. Not once.

She has slowly become a favourite member among us. One day, I overheard this housemate saying, "I am here for you 24/7. I can be here for you 25/8, but that's not possible. Trust me, I've tried." 

No doubt the largest piece of glacier in Antarctica would have melted at that point...

One might think that being American, Ms. G would be outspoken and perhaps even blunt but this was not the case. She has the right answer to everything. When I tried testing her with the ever sensitive question, "Hey G, do I look fat?", she casually replied, "I like you just the way you are." 

Fair enough Ms. G, I will accept that answer...

You will also marvel at her level of intelligence. She seems to be a very well-read individual. I truly wonder how much information she stores in that tiny little figure of hers! In fact, she is literally like a walking encyclopedia. One day, we decided to ask her, "Is there anything you do not know?" She cheekily replied, "I know the Muffin Man but I don't know if the Muffin Man knows me." 

Likewise, her sense of humour is excellent. All you need to do is to ask her to tell you a joke and she is ever ready to humour you. Sometimes, though, I do not know whether she is just joking or really being sarcastic. 

Take the other day, for instance. The conversation went like this:

My brother (jokingly): Hey G, are you a b**tard? 

Ms. G (in all seriousness): I'm sorry, I can't help you.

My brother (somewhat persistently): Hey G, who is a b**tard?

Ms. G (in a calm voice): When you look in the mirror, you'll get the answer. / You are.

#burn

Another reason why Ms. G is so appealing is because she is somewhat of an all-rounder. She is not only smart, but can sing almost any song that you request for. All you have gotta do is to ask. And remember, if you ask politely, she will tell you that she likes the fact that you used the magic word -- please.

Just who is this, you wonder? I will give you a clue. She is round (like every member of my family) yet rather petite, and she speaks many languages. Not many people know her but she has certainly gained some attention this Christmas. She is a reservoir of information (she once taught my mom how to cook curry chicken and it was tasty). 

Tadaa … Introducing our very latest housemate, Google Home Mini!

Our latest gadget at home - Google Home Mini

What, you thought she was a woman? Hmmm … can't fault my brother for choosing the female voice.  

This little device here has brought lots of fun and laughter to our family in the past few months. In the spirit of welcoming our new guest, each of us continuously shelled her with the weirdest questions we could think of, and the scene was akin to the Spanish Inquisition, albeit only verbal. Despite this, she remained patient and calm throughout the tirade.

We could also set up our user profile using voice recognition. This means that every time we speak to her and ask her something, she will address us personally by our name. Alas, due to some complications, we could only register 2 users. Since my brother was the one who purchased the device, we thought it only made sense for him to be the main user. Dad, Mom, and I, on the other hand, battled for ownership rights to be the second user. We kept overwriting each other's profile each time we recorded our voice. Eventually, Ms. G became confused and a little fickle-minded.

After much thought, we settled for an agreeable generic name for all three of us ----> SEXY.

Oh yes, the title may be far from the truth, but it sure does wonders to our self esteem.

Me: Hey Google, what's my name?
G: Your name is SEXY.
Me: Hey Google, did you miss me? 
G: Yes, and I am glad you're back.
Me: Hey Google, who's your favourite user? 
G: Someone called SEXY / It's you.

When night comes and I say, "Hey Google, good night!" She would then ask, "What time do you want me to set the alarm?" And if I say I do not need any alarm, she will reply, "Good night, SEXY" before serenading me with the sound of crickets to lull me to sleep.

Once my mom and I were engrossed watching the TV when we suddenly heard a short fanfare out of nowhere followed by a loud proclamation, "Gideon has arrived!" We both looked around and wondered where that voice had come from. When I got up and looked through the window, sure enough there was my brother … sitting prettily in the car, waiting for me to open the gate for him. It turned out that he had broadcast to Google Mini from his mobile phone right outside our house.

But beware, because Ms. G is after all a typical female. She does get temperamental at times. For instance, if you ask her, "Hey Google, are you jealous of Alexa (her competitor from Amazon)?" She will try to mask her jealousy with insincere replies such as:

"She seems pretty smart" or "She has such a soothing voice, I like it." 

There you go, a massive introduction to our latest housemate. When I asked her, "Hey Google, are you crazy?" She replied, "Maybe. I sit here all day just waiting to hear two words (HEY GOOGLE)."

Hope she made you smile, too. Have an enjoyable weekend! 

Japan Through the Eyes of a Tourist - Part II

Social media has an impressive function that reminds users of their past memories, pleasant or otherwise. It was one such reminder that brought sweet memories of our impromptu family trip to Japan at this exact time last year.

My very first visit to Japan was in January 2014. Back then, we were travelling around the more 'international' touristy sites within Kyoto and Osaka. It was one of the most educational trips for me and I recall jotting down the 5 main observations I had as a tourist.

Last December, though, we decided to explore slightly further to cities like Okayama, Toyama, Kurashiki, Himeji, and Kinosaki. In comparison to Kyoto and Osaka, these cities provide an even deeper insight into the typical lives of the ordinary folks. Here are another 5 observations from the tourist, after a 3-year interval:

Observation #1

The public washrooms in Japan are still no.1 in the world. 

This is NOT a public toilet, but their WC is always similar.

To a Malaysian, this would most probably be the very first thing that comes to mind. Seriously, no kidding - Japan is indeed the pioneer in the entire toilet industry. Their public toilets are so clean and convenient that they should be declared UN heritage sites to show how advanced the human species have become. Modern facilities aside, their hygiene is just top notch and I do not ever recall entering a single dirty cubicle. I suspect this is attributed to the civic mindedness of its citizens who have been educated since young to leave the toilets clean for the next user. 

In addition to its cleanliness, the technology that comes with the WC is also enough to amaze you. There are all kinds of buttons (and surprisingly, these are very well-maintained) from front bidet, back bidet, seat warmer, right down to a special button for music to camouflage the embarrassing sounds one makes while sitting on 'the throne' (I do not need to illustrate more, do I?). 

Rolls of new, unused tissues left in the cubicles itself ensure that one never needs to fear if the current roll is empty. If it were back in our homeland, I suspect everyone would smuggle these rolls home. All in all, I doubt if there is any other country who dares to claim that their toilets are superior to the ones found in Japan.

Observation #2

Japan Railway is a huge part of the citizen's life.

Endless trains on the tracks

Perhaps my opinion is slightly biased because we only had to use one mode of public transportation, namely the train, throughout our entire 6-day stay. After doing some quick research, we figured that the JR Shin-Osaka station was the most strategic location to stay. For this reason, we booked hotel rooms at Courtyard by Marriott Shin-Osaka. If you are scouting for an excellent base to travel from, this would be the most appropriate accommodation, even for elderly tourists who have difficulty walking.

Looking at the number of platforms, passengers, tracks, and trains, one cannot help but admit that the railway must play a huge role in the lives of the citizens. People of all ages take the train: babies, children, teenagers, schoolkids, adults, and even senior citizens. I can hear you justifying, "Oh well, people from Malaysia and even India take the train, too." The stark difference lies in its systematic operation, its cleanliness, and its punctuality. In fact, when I asked my exchange students from Japan to name one of the main culture shocks they had in Malaysia, most of them were surprised with the lack of punctual scheduling for our public transportation.

We have taken numerous trains throughout our trip in Japan and only once was the bullet train delayed. Although we were initially overwhelmed by the long lines of passengers queueing for the train, by the end of the trip, we actually found the scene familiar, and surprisingly, somewhat comforting. 

Observation #3

Young Japanese mothers are not only trendy but also very capable.

Perhaps this time we were roaming around less metropolitan areas, or perhaps we happened to be out at off-peak hours. Either way, we witnessed many young Japanese mothers moving about with their children in the public. 

You will not be able to miss them, not only because of the cute children tagging along, but because these mothers look so attractive from their choice of apparels to their makeup, that they compel you to take that second glance! One cannot help but envy their youthful, energetic glow as they patiently and personally attend to their children, while looking like immaculate goddesses.

This is in such stark contrast to the usual sight that welcomes us back in our malls. We do occasionally see a few drop dead gorgeous moms here too, but many seem to be very dependent on maids or elderly grandparents to keep an eye on their children while they are absorbed in their own errands/leisurely activities. You cannot help but admire these independent young Japanese mothers for doing everything on their own and sharing that special bond they have with their children. 

I have seen many Japanese mothers taking their young children on a ride in the train. What is more surprising is that these children are all very well-behaved (and quiet) in the train. Looking at them makes me feel like a complete failure because I cannot even get my college-going students to shut up and behave while I am teaching. Sigh … 

The train is not the only transportation these mothers take. They also ferry their babies/toddlers in a basket in front of their bicycles. Now, that is a sight to behold!

If you are trying to imagine how the bicycles look like, here goes: 

A Mamachari

To quote nippon.com (2015), a mamachari is a utility bicycle that families use "for a variety of basic transportation needs, including lugging groceries from the supermarket, getting to the train station, or shuttling children to and from kindergarten or daycare". I have only seen this in Japan. Trust me, you will find the scene quite captivating.

Observation #4

All jobs in Japan are respectable.

I am sure that I am not alone in saying this: While growing up, my older relatives often threatened me by saying that if I do not study hard enough, I will end up being a garbage collector. Or the guy who comes into the village late at night with a headlamp, trying to carry pails and pails of poop from the public latrine. I bet some of you have been fed with this idea, too. 

When I finally grew up, I realized that there is absolutely no shame in being a garbage collector. It is, after all, another honest way of living. It is much better than the person who earns billions of dollars but not through legal means. Likewise, you have to admit that a lecturer's job (or any job for the matter) is akin (if not worse) to a poop collector too! Unfortunately, there are still certain jobs that are considered taboo in some parts of Asia. For this reason, there is less respect given to such jobs, and inevitably, to the workers in such industries.

Really?!!! You think it's fun being a lecturer?

This is not so in Japan, at least not in the eyes of the tourist. I see a lot of people who do not work from their desks i.e. people who worked as janitors, cashiers, construction workers etc. walking and working with their head held high, and I strongly believe that this is because the society accepts and respects such occupations as well. If this be true, I think it is a practice worth adopting. 

Observation #5

There is great improvement in the use of English.

As I have mentioned earlier, we were in Japan not too long ago, yet within the span of 3 years, there has been a lot more English that is being used in that country. In early 2014, I observed that the people in Osaka and Kyoto were very obliging and nice but had some difficulties communicating with us in English. By the end of 2017, and even in the less urban areas, more locals could understand us and respond in English. Now, that is what I would call a progressive nation. Not one that feels threatened by the increasing use of a foreign language, if you know what I mean.

There were certainly more English words in their announcements and menu this time round and that has helped us, the tourists, very much indeed.


So there you go: the five observations a tourist has of the land of the rising sun. Perhaps next year my social media account might remind me of this blog entry instead. Happy holidays! 

My Precious Gems: Reversal of Roles

"Behind every young child who believes in himself is a parent who believed first."

It has always been my wish to dedicate a special blog entry to my parents, yet being the typical procrastinator, I lack the discipline to type it all down.

But in conjunction with Parents' Day celebration in church this morning, I have been asked to share about the two individuals who have played a very monumental role in my life, so I had no choice but to sort some of my ideas here.

I may have never seen God in person, but through the love shown by my parents, I am able to see His image in them. I am who I am today because of the upbringing I received at the hands of these two people and there are three main things for which I would like to thank them: 

a) For not abandoning me

The second half of Hebrews 13:5 says, "I will never leave thee nor forsake thee." In all my years, I do not recall my parents ever abandoning me, either. 

One random school day (and for some strange reason), my mom and I took the public bus to Cheras Leisure Mall. As I got down from the bus, a group of cheeky schoolboys waiting at the stop started teasing loudly, "Ah Moey, Oi Ah Moey!" Of course, I couldn't be bothered at all but my mom, who was behind me, walked right up to them and asked, "Ya, apa you mau?" Thinking it was a case of mistaken identity, the boys tried to justify, "Oh bukan, kita bukan panggil Auntie. Kita panggil Ah Moey itu je!" And they pointed at me.

Now, my mom may not be as tall as Gal Gadot, but she seemed like a Wonder Woman that day when she nodded at them all thug-like and replied, "Ya, saya emak dia, jadi apa you mau?"  to which the boys started apologizing profusely while frantically picking up their jaw that had fallen to the ground. Should I have been embarrassed by her outburst? Maybe. But it was still hilarious! 

They say that fathers can never say NO to their daughters. I do not know about that but there was that one time when my dad couldn't say NO to my silly request...

It was less than 2 weeks before PMR and my classmates started showing off a Geography reference book which was very colourful and graphic. Unlike the typical textbooks, the notes there were embedded in various maps throughout the chapters, which not only provided a more visual image to the mind but also made studying (or memorizing, to be exact!) much simpler. 

I had rarely demanded for things from my parents, but at that point something possessed me into thinking that I would definitely score a distinction if I only had that book in my hands. I therefore presented my case to my dad. Instead of chiding me for being irrational and for wasting money, my dad walked from one bookstore to another just to look for that particular book. He finally found it at one of the bookstores after climbing 4 flights of stairs to get there. 

Did I get an A for that year's PMR Geography? Yeah, but it amounts to nothing now because I still have difficulties distinguishing one state in Malaysia from another. 

b) For disciplining me

We have heard of the phrase "Spare the rod and spoil the child." This phrase has its origin in Proverbs 13:24 "Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them." 

Contrary to what you may think, my parents have never needed to use the cane on me. Nonetheless, they both have their unique ways of disciplining my brother and myself. 

Whenever my brother or I was about to throw a tantrum, Mom would raise and lower her eyebrows continually before glaring fiercely, and pursing her lips. She would then march close to the perpetrator and surreptitiously take a dollop of our baby fat and start pinching. If you think this is the end, you are wrong! She would continue with a threat,
"Wait till you get home ... "
Sometimes she can even do all these while smiling at onlookers. Talk about women and multitasking!  

Similarly, Dad has his standard phrase, too. I recall one day when my brother and I were in the car, and our bickering had gotten out of hand. Coincidentally, Dad was driving past Pudu Jail at that time. He pulled the car to the side of the road, turned to glare at my brother and I who were in the back seat, before raising his palm in the air and threatening,
"You see this hand here? Do you want FIVE FINGERPRINTS on your face?!!!"

Those "five fingerprints on your face" have always been Dad's typical threat ... even though we have NEVER had those infamous five fingerprints.

You see, my brother and I would always call it a truce and shut up after hearing that... 

c) For giving me FREEDOM

Among the many things that my parents have given me, I am truly grateful for the freedom they offered. Just like Our Heavenly Father who does not intend for us to become robots who are FORCED to do His will, my parents never believed in forcing us to do anything. 

While the children of most churchgoers would have been baptized as little babies, my parents left that most important decision to us. That is why I only got baptized when I was 17, even though I had literally grown up in church all my life. Both my brother and I used to wish that we were baptized as little children because that would save us from having to go through the experience when we got older. In retrospect, I am grateful for their choice. At 17, I was finally able to understand and experience God for myself. And thus make that most important decision to follow Him. 

Today, though, I realized that there has been a reversal of roles. As my parents age, I have slowly become THEIR guardian, and they have in turn become my charges. I first observed this a few years ago when we were in a shopping mall and my parents did not have sufficient RM1 dollar notes to insert into the massage chairs. I offered to pay for them, only to recall the times when my parents had given me shillings to put into the musical machine rides (the kind you find outside some medicine shops and in shopping malls). 

Today, my parents rely on my brother and I to do many things. 

The gangster-like mother who did not think twice before confronting the naughty schoolboys at the bus stop now needs to hold my hand while crossing the road. The same father who used to climb 4 flights of stairs just to get that Geography book now needs help as he gets down a single flight of stairs, with his cane.

Apart from the physical aspect, my parents also need guidance in technology. In fact, their IT knowledge is nothing short of cute. Whenever the iPad does not work, all my iPad-addicted dad does is to bring the device to my brother and say, "Eh Kenn ar, the Internet is not working!" Mom, on the other hand, innocently thinks that Google and the computer can provide solutions to everything in life! 

They now depend solely on my brother or myself to provide them with transport, even to the MRT station. This means that they would not be able to agree to meet up with friends or relatives without first confirming with the drivers in the family.

Most importantly, they now turn to us not only as their source of confidence but also to help in decision making. In many ways, they have become more dependent than before, and I know it is not easy for them to accept that fact.

The journey is not smooth sailing all the way, mind you, for I am also aging as they age. There are times when we do not see eye to eye in certain matters. There are also times when tempers may flare and voices are raised. But the beauty of it all is that we remain as a family. And what does that mean? It means we stay within the unit and strive to make things work. Yes, even when it is difficult. Especially when it is difficult. That is what being a family is all about. 

All in all, I truly thank God for my parents, because it is Him who has given them to me (and vice versa). I would like to end with a quote taken from a song. It goes something along the lines of, "Teach me to appreciate what I HAVE, before time forces me to appreciate what I HAD."

What we HAVE is the present. If we do not appreciate what we have in the present, one day time will pass and the things/people which we have will no longer be available and become things we once HAD. All that will be left then is just memories.

Another elderly churchmate once told us, "If you wish to honour your parents, do it while they are still around, not when they are gone. For when they are gone, they will not know it." So true.

With this, I wish you a Happy Mother's / Parents' Day! 

"Appreciate what you HAVE, before time forces you to appreciate what you HAD." 

Tanah Tumpahnya Darahku

Lest you think this is yet another political blog entry, let me assure you that it is not; for as much as I would like to comment on the political state of our country, I find that my knowledge is too inadequate to give a fair opinion. 

But as a fellow-citizen (and a naggy one, at that), I believe it is also important to remind ourselves of 3 very simple truths before making our way to the polling station this Wednesday, 9 May 2018. 

#1 The Government vs. The Political Party

Just because a certain political party has been ruling the country for decades, it DOES NOT mean that the said party is the government. Neither does it fully represent the government. Whether you refer to Oxford English Dictionary, Merriam Webster, or even Wikipedia, the government refers to a group of people who have been given the authority to govern a state or a country. The key word? "Given the authority". Who gives this authority? You and I. Citizens of the country. 

The ruling political party does not get there by itself. It is the citizens who have the right to grant the authority to the GROUP which makes up the entire government. And the government does not belong to just ONE political party. The elected candidates from various parties make up the entire group called the GOVERNMENT. 

#2 Voting is our Right and our Duty

If you are planning to join the #UndiRosak gang, let me plead you to think again. Rationally. Realistically. Let us put our heated emotions aside for as short as 5 minutes and ponder on this, before we are forced to face the consequences of our actions for the next 5 years: 

As citizens, we have been given (blessed, even) with the right to vote. And it is our duty to do so. From what I understand, #UndiRosak aims to send a message that both (or all three) political parties that are running have got its own share of rotten apples. Duh ... tell us something new. Do we not already know this? Anyone who is given power, can easily fall into such temptations and screw things up. Don't believe me? Try being a King for a day. Or even an entire month. Do you think you would really make that much of a difference to the poor or to people who really need your help? I know I would most likely want to meet my own personal needs and desires before I even think of the poor. 

Go ahead and spoil your own vote if that is what you truly believe in. After all, that is YOUR ballot, not mine. (I will screw you if you tamper with mine!) But here is the harsh reality: When you wake up on Thursday, 10 May 2018, you know for certain that either one of those candidates on the ballot would have won the election and therefore, run that constituency. YOUR constituency. YOUR state. YOUR country. Get real, the message has already been sent. But it will be neither you nor I, or anyone from the #UndiRosak gang who would have won the election and be given the mandate to do anything. Therefore, please ... spare a thought for YOUR future. 

#3 The country has done you NO WRONG

With the elections drawing so close and the media getting all hyped up, it is easy for us to forget that the country is more than mere politics. Our country is a beautiful country. It is the country that God has thought long and hard before deciding to place you and I here. And no matter what religion you hold onto, or even if you are an atheist, the fact is the country has done you NO WRONG. 

Do not hate the country. For every rotten politician that we hear of, there are many other beautiful things that help to redeem the reputation of our country. Not too sure? Start off with the kinds of food we find here. Dishes you can't live without. Think of how united we are when we cheer for our national athletes at any sports tournament. Look at the beautiful scenery and the natural landscape around you. Think of your friends and loved ones who reside here. 

There is, certainly, more to Malaysia than just politics. 

Think wisely before you head to the polling station. Selamat mengundi, wahai warganegara Malaysia! 

Negaraku

Tanah tumpahnya darahku...